HISMD: Business, Planning & Investment Manager at a State Government Agency

Partner. Three kids (11yo twins & 7yo). In office. Central Virginia.

This "How I Structure My Day" series started with an Instagram post I made about my own life, which prompted a woman to ask if it would be possible to see how women working a more traditional, full-time job did it. I asked women to share, and, man, have people responded. The goal is to show how women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. structure their day. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do!

The Snapshot

• Partner: Yes

• Children: Yes – 11yo twins, 7yo

• In Office

• Central Virginia

Typical Morning

• 5:40am: Alarm goes off; I get up no later than 6:00

• Get dressed, feed and let the dog outside

• Do 30-45 minute on-demand workout

• Spend 10-15 minutes packing lunches, backpacks and my work bag, making coffee, etc.

• Shower and get ready for work

• Leave the house by 7:35

• 20-minute commute with audiobook

• My workday typically starts at 8:00

Morning "Make Life Easier" Hacks

• Coffee and most breakfast/lunch foods are prepped either on Sundays or the night before.

• I write myself sticky notes for anything I need to remember the morning of, like a package to ship or library book to return.

• Kids' clothes are picked out in advance, as needed.

• I tried doing this with my own clothes, but it didn't stick. My bigger tip here is to have fewer clothes, but make sure you really love them. It makes getting dressed so much easier. As do wash-and-wear fabrics!

• I don't use alarms, but I do have "milestone times" that I go by - need to finish workout by X, need to be in the shower by Y, etc.

• We use a Skylight Calendar, which is synced to everyone's personal calendars and my work calendar. I include "all day" entries for things to remember, like the canned food drive at my son's school. That way, everyone can see it and ensure we do our part.

Transition into Work Mode

• This is an area I'm working on. I have a startup routine when I arrive at the office - unpack bags, water plants if needed, tidy up random papers/mail. But when I sit down at the computer, I often get lost in the email abyss... I would like to start doing a 30-60 minute deep thinking task first, then tackle email. Just need to build the habit.

A work day tends to look like

• My days are consistent for the most part.

• I typically have 1-2 hours in the morning with nothing scheduled - this is a time block I need to make better use of.

• I tend to have meetings from 9 or 10 a.m. through mid-afternoon. These are fairly well scheduled and managed; most are meetings I attend as a resource, but some are my own meetings to run.

• One tip is to calendar time for yourself to prep for meetings - sometimes this is lengthy agenda planning, other times it is 5 minutes to organize my notes so I can give a concise report-out - but it gives me confidence and efficiency.

• In the late afternoon, I will do action items that arise from these meetings or work on long-term projects. This is typically uninterrupted time, because many staff at my agency work earlier hours (7-3:30).

Breakfast/Lunch/Snacks

• I often eat breakfast at my desk (cottage cheese or greek yogurt) and will snack on almonds in the late morning.

• I try to do lunch at about 12:30, typically a salad kit and mix-ins like chicken, black beans, edamame, whatever we have to add protein/fiber.

• I tend to bring various afternoon snacks, anything from clementines to popcorn to the occasional brought-in treat.

Breaks

• No, not really. On pretty days, I will sometimes join coworkers who religiously take walks around our complex at 10 and 2:30. But mostly I just take a break when the mood strikes!

Leaving Work

• Between 4:30 and 5:00. This depends on how busy I am and whether my kids have evening activities that day.

Transitioning from Work to Personal Mode

• I try to wrap up my day by updating my planner with any to-dos, taking a quick look at my calendar for the next day's schedule, filing away any papers/emails, etc. This is a ritual that helps me feel like work is put away and I'm ready to go into home/mom/personal mode.

• I used to go home and vent to my husband about work stresses, but found that wasn't as helpful as I thought. I would get wound up again and sometimes get mad at him for not responding like I wanted. So now, I try to set them down at work.

• I do sometimes have after-hours calls and emails, but I try to limit this to only things that need my attention. If an email can wait until the next day, I don't even read it.

Typical Afternoon/Evening

• 20-minute commute with audiobook

• Get home and greet everyone, do a quick look through of mail, packages and school papers; put away work items, lunch dishes; change clothes. (This chunk of time seems to take forever - it's what Laura Vanderkam calls "puttering around the house." Would like to tighten it up some.)

• Between 5:30 and 6:00, I start dinner, typically with my husband's help - although he coaches high school baseball in the spring and isn't around much Feb-May.

• We eat as a family, about half the time at the table and the other half at the kitchen island so we can run out the door to sports.

• An average week is three evenings with practices/games, but there are weeks that 1 or more of my kids have something every evening.

• I help coach my daughters' travel softball team, so those practices I'm on the field; otherwise I use this time to catch up with other sports mom friends, take a walk, or do various home admin tasks - update my planner, pay a misc bill, fill out forms. Or I work the concession stand, which I actually love to do.

• The kids shower after practice and are in bed by 8:30 ideally, but more like 9:30 some nights.

• I very rarely have work to do at night; this is my toughest time of day to focus, so I avoid it at all costs! I even try to avoid personal tasks that require a lot of energy or brainpower; I know myself well and realize that I will get them done, but will be grouchy and frustrated in the process. So, instead, I will do these things on weekend early mornings - do our taxes, draft a flyer for the softball team, research washing machines, whatever. I've even taken off time from work to do other things, like wrap Christmas gifts. I actually enjoyed my "elf day" vs. feeling exhausted while doing late-night wrapping.

• I like to have some downtime to either watch TV or read before I head to bed. As my kids get older and go to bed later, it's harder to fit this in. I try to do any small evening to-dos, like folding laundry and washing my face, while the kids are showering, so I get the full post-bedtime slot to relax.

Nightime non-negotiables

• Clean up the kitchen,

• Run the dishwasher,

• Set the coffeemaker,

• I get any items ready for the next day - field trip forms, payment for my house cleaner, packages/mail to send, items to return.

• And then I do a brief skincare routine.

• If I have the energy, I pick up our main living spaces.

• Several nights a week, I do one load of laundry.

• We live in an old farmhouse fixer-upper, and every so often, I will do one small task to keep a project moving, like applying the next coat of paint to a door.

Afternoon/Evening “Make Life Easier” Tips

• Meal planning! I don't do a ton of advance prepping for meals, and these days I take a lot of shortcuts, like buying the pre-cut veggies. But we live in a rural area and I don't have a lot of extra time, so I plan out meals and do one really well planned grocery pickup order per week. I check the fridge regularly for leftovers and produce that needs using, and also keep a good stock of quick meal items on hand... Pasta and sauce, frozen chicken tenders, shrimp, veggies, potstickers, naan bread for mini pizzas, smoothie ingredients.

• For those with a lot of evening activities, I have a pre-packed bag that includes first aid essentials, snacks, extra layers, etc. I replenish anything used up the same night, so I know it's ready to go again.

• I cannot overemphasize how much easier evenings get once all kids are 5+. We survived the early years and now feel like we have a good routine that the kids can follow without us fully supervising the process.

Sharing the load with a partner

• A shared physical calendar is essential. We did a dry-erase version for 10 years, then upgraded to a Skylight.

• We spend 5-10 minutes on Sundays reviewing the week ahead. I do most of the planning, but he is good about helping me think through logistics. That's the time we finalize who is doing which errands, driving whom to which activity, starting dinner, etc.

• We have done well with fully owning certain tasks - I do all laundry and grocery shopping, he does all things yardwork and waters the plants weekly, etc.

• We had some disagreements about less frequent tasks, so I created a "seasonal task list" in Google Docs and write out a monthly to-do list that hangs on the fridge. This reminds us both to do our items - change smoke detector batteries, schedule pest control, etc.

Outsourcing

• House cleaning twice per week

• Pest control

• Some home reno/maintenance tasks

• Used to outsource childcare, but now all are in school

Exercise/Body Movement

• I try to exercise every workday for 30+ minutes. I use an on-demand service called Refit Revolution, and alternate between strength training and cardio.

• I also get exercise at my girls' softball practices (I assistant-coach) and sometimes by walking with friends.

Anything extra the share-er wants to share

• Two small wins:

  • 1. I hated the act of unpacking dirty breakfast and lunch dishes into my sink at home. But then I realized I could wash them at work! This is a good reason to get out of my chair and allows me to take home clean dishes.

  • 2. Every year, I give back unused sick/personal leave. So last year, I started planning my appointments for late morning or early afternoon and taking off the adjacent hours for either personal tasks or relaxation. Instead of 8am dentist, I do 10am and run a couple errands beforehand. Instead of 4pm dermatologist, I do 2pm and then get coffee with a friend after. I found that this allows me to fit in my priorities without sacrificing much work time - I still seem to get my work done! And it gives me something to look forward to.

That’s a wrap for this one!

Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing.

A reminder of the ground rules to ensure women continue wanting to share about their days and feel safe doing so.

• Encouraging comments always welcome!

• If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.

• If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.

• Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!

New here? Welcome!

I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. I teach the Bright Method, a realistic time management system designed for professional working women. In addition to this fun new series, I share bite-sized time management strategies on Instagram. Thanks for being here!

After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies. My system, the Bright Method, has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, and my work has been published in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more. Learn more on my website, come learn bite-sized strategies with me on Instagram, or jump into my free 5-day program.

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