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Partner. 3.5yo & pregnant with second. WFH. A note on overanalyzing.
This "How I Structure My Day" series started with an Instagram post I made about my own life, which prompted a woman to ask if it would be possible to see how women working a more traditional, full-time job did it. I asked women to share, and, man, have people responded. The goal is to show how women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. structure their day. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do!
The Snapshot
Partner: Yes
Children: Yes – 3.5yo & pregnant with second
WFH
Typical Day - Monday, Wednesday, Friday
7am: Wake up; have breakfast as a family.
10 min walk to take my 3.5yo to nursery school for 8am drop-off. Partner tidies up.
9am-12pm: get in 3 hours of work, I hold this time for email processing and calls with EU team.
12-12:30pm: try to have lunch before heading back for 1pm pickup.
After 1pm pickup: I head to my parents to close out my day in an office with dual screens, where I do my focus work and take calls with West Coast teams. Partner has kiddo until I get home between 5:30-6.
5:30/6pm-ish: Kiddo gets screen time, partner and I share a snack, prep her dinner, then one of us eats with her before playtime/bathtime before we begin bedtime prep at 7:30. We try to cap that at 8pm lights out, but currently both of us are staying in the room til she falls asleep between 8:15-8:45.
After that, doomscroll, eat a late dinner and try to enjoy a hobby (sewing for me). Bed by 11.
Typical Day - Tuesday, Thursday
Same wakeup and breakfast, but then partner leaves for office at 8:15, nanny picks up daughter for 9 hours coverage at 8:30.
I try to hold TTh for overflow tasks, personal tasks, networking check-ins and focus time because I'm completely alone.
Kiddo is home at 5:30, partner by 6:15, and we do the same nighttime but with an added task to prep nursery school lunches.
Rinse and repeat!
Morning "Make Life Easier" Hacks
Breakfast is the same everyday during the week.
We allow kiddo to watch 1-2min clips from PBS kids shows while doing hair and shoes.
Our #1 hack though, which isn't accessible to everyone, was picking a school that is toddler walking distance from home (10min in stroller, 15-20 if she walks), which means that our only uncontrollable input to getting there on time is my daughter 😂
What my work day looks like
I hold bands of time in the AM and PM for calls with teams on EU vs US West Coast using 30min holds set to "tentative".
Outside of that, I block my whole day and try to use the Bright Method to manage. Certain types of focus work I try to allocate to TTh when I'm home alone and other types of focus work required my dual screen set up, so I try to schedule that on MWF afternoons. My best energy for writing is early AM or unfortunately very late PM when everyone is asleep. I try to avoid meetings that require deep thinking after 3pm because I'm usually drained and can't give my best effort to reviewing technical designs or product requirements.
Breaks during the work day
I schedule them, but I never stick to them. I hold a good boundary when I log off at the end of the day but struggle to hold boundaries within working hours. This is largely because I just cannot "give back" that working time after hours because of how long it takes my kid to get to sleep and how little time that leaves me before my bedtime.
After kid-bedtime time
Depending on how rough bedtime is, sometimes I have to just sit and unwind before I can do anything. Partner and I trade off on owning dinner prep, so sometimes I'm up to make dinner and sometimes I have a bit more time to do something else.
This year I started a practice of doing 15min of stitching on mini stitch book, the only rules are not to plan anything and to spend a minimum of 15 min. It's been really enjoyable and has reanimated my sewjo to work on larger sewing projects. I also have dinner with my husband and we talk about our days, try to connect a bit, do light personal admin, talk about the next day's schedule. I'll also confess to doing too much doomscrolling, especially when my daughter fights bedtime (this is half the time right now).
Nightime non-negotiables
Prep kiddo's lunchbox on nursery school nights.
Tidy up living room.
If I have energy, wash a few dishes.
Personal admin like doublecheck my appointments and call times for the following AM.
Outsourcing
We have a part-time nanny who will be dialling back up to full-time next fall after baby #2 comes and I go back to work. We don't outsource anything else, but also we are renters so home maintenance including leaves/snow removal and lawn care don't fall on us.
Anything extra the share-er wants to share
My instinct is to overanalyze, read all the reviews, create a crazy rubric, select the "best" and make it work. My partner sets much better boundaries around his time and energy - e.g. if we need to talk about tax prep for the year, he will ask that we pick a night to talk instead of responding to my stream of questions and ideas. I hated this early in our marriage but really appreciate it now. He's a natural at time-blocking decisions or discussions, and we've applied his method to simplify our lives a lot and save time: e.g. make a list of the closest nursery schools, read the reviews and choose, but don't look at allll the options in the city because a 45min crosstown commute would steal our time; buy an updated pre-owned model of a car we already know is reliable and that our mechanic can service easily instead of reviewing all the cars on the market. Basically reduce the cognitive load of the decision (not my strong suit) and remember that many of these choices could be reconsidered if they don't work for us, but at least we start with the simplest option. Not sure this applies to every situation, I'll have to report back if we ever buy a house hahah!
That’s a wrap for this one!
Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing.
A reminder of the ground rules to ensure women continue wanting to share about their days and feel safe doing so.
Encouraging comments always welcome!
If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.
If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.
Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!
New here? Welcome!
I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. I teach the Bright Method, a realistic time management system designed for professional working women. In addition to this fun new series, I share bite-sized time management strategies on Instagram. Thanks for being here!
After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies. My system, the Bright Method, has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, and my work has been published in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more. Learn more on my website, come learn bite-sized strategies with me on Instagram, or jump into my free 5-day program.
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