As a now grown up child of a doctor (my mother) I'm so glad you outsource!! My mom tried to "do it all" and a lot of her down time was spent cleaning, doing laundry, etc. Now that I'm a mother myself we both laugh and agree that she 100% did not need to mentally and physically exhaust herself like that. In fact she now pays for my housekeeper 😂
Loved this one! Always amazed and intrigued by the schedules of those who work in the medical field. Thank you for the work you to do to bring life into the world! Also, absolutely relate to feeling guilty for making choices that work for your own life (especially when it's different than those around you). Good for you for finding a place of peace with it!
“We work hard; and for us it’s okay to use the benefits of that hard work to be able to get the help we need in order to better enjoy our life!” - love that!!
I have a similar career with a partner who also has a somewhat flexible schedule but intermittently travels for work and a similar schedule in many ways! Only one 2 year old but he goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes up at 5:45 (no matter how late we put him to bed, how short nap is…) 🫠 and I am NOT a morning person! We only have a cleaning person come once every 2 weeks. I literally just made a job list by for somebody to help 3ish hours a week and was wondering whether the cost would be worth it—you’re reminding me that it does! I feel no guilt or shame about this by the way, just want to make it work for our finances.
For what it is worth, as a physician myself with a partner with big mix of a schedule, hiring someone as a "house manager"/household assistant role has CHANGED MY LIFE for the better. She handles the laundry, tidying up, putting dishes away. She wrapped the majority of my Christmas gifts which made me a much more merry person this season. Hourly she is cheaper than house cleaning, but the laundry help alone has brought me so much joy.
Thank you! Can I ask how many hours a week you have her come? And if you’re willing to share a pay range and if you live in a high/medium/low COL area?
Totally! Started with 5ish hours a week, started at $22/hour, and I live in a low/medium COL midwest (St. Louis). We found someone through a group that targets Occupational Therapy students looking for part time work (normally babysitting or such), but it was actually a spouse of a student looking for a part time job to supplement her non-profit work.
I listed out all the things we needed help with (stocking diapers for the baby, laundry and folding, tidying up playroom, running a vacuum for the never ending dog hair, grabbing a quick costco order, etc). I paid using Venmo, and we had super flexible hours so whatever days worked best. I left a list, and she got to work. She also helped with occasional babysitting, and things like an extra set of hands for a birthday party - which was amazing! So nice to have someone else to cut cake pieces, refresh food, etc so I can pay attention to my child!
Since then, she has moved home and we found a new manager. I have increased the role to include more hours and a bigger scope as our new manager seems to thrive taking on more projects - she was home for the HVAC appointment last month when I could not find a time to be present. She is working with my handyman to replace a broken window so I do not have to be involved. She sent my husband a reminder to fill my stocking!
Happy to talk more offline, but this has been the single best thing I have done for my household.
Thank you, this is incredibly helpful! I was hoping I could find somebody for $20/hr but the very qualified person I spoke with is $25/hr in our medium COL Midwestern college town, so I should probably just go for it! I’ve also posted to the college job site but it may be worth just going with the person who will probably offer better continuity.
So interesting to see how she balances the load with her partner. My husband is 1000% more domestic than I am and societally I feel a lot of pressure to feel guilty about that. Trying to resist.
I am curious how you landed on that age gap with your kiddos? We just had our first but I would like a significant spread too. It’s so smart to lean on other families when the care looks so different for each age, thanks for sharing.
I work as an obgyn ARNP, have a husband with work travel and have 3 kids, very much related to this! There is so much time spent on charting etc outside of seeing patients. Thanks for sharing!
I’m a pediatrician and I love seeing how other medical professionals make it work! I also resisted hiring someone to help clean but it made a huge difference for us as well.
Just got back from a trip to India and I’ve seen how much my friends with kids outsource (not unusual for that part of the world if you are affluent) — most people have nannies, cooks, home help, drivers etc. I think it was a reminder for me to not feel guilty for outsourcing things if I can manage to budget for it and focus on what’s really important
As a now grown up child of a doctor (my mother) I'm so glad you outsource!! My mom tried to "do it all" and a lot of her down time was spent cleaning, doing laundry, etc. Now that I'm a mother myself we both laugh and agree that she 100% did not need to mentally and physically exhaust herself like that. In fact she now pays for my housekeeper 😂
Loved this one! Always amazed and intrigued by the schedules of those who work in the medical field. Thank you for the work you to do to bring life into the world! Also, absolutely relate to feeling guilty for making choices that work for your own life (especially when it's different than those around you). Good for you for finding a place of peace with it!
“We work hard; and for us it’s okay to use the benefits of that hard work to be able to get the help we need in order to better enjoy our life!” - love that!!
I have a similar career with a partner who also has a somewhat flexible schedule but intermittently travels for work and a similar schedule in many ways! Only one 2 year old but he goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes up at 5:45 (no matter how late we put him to bed, how short nap is…) 🫠 and I am NOT a morning person! We only have a cleaning person come once every 2 weeks. I literally just made a job list by for somebody to help 3ish hours a week and was wondering whether the cost would be worth it—you’re reminding me that it does! I feel no guilt or shame about this by the way, just want to make it work for our finances.
For what it is worth, as a physician myself with a partner with big mix of a schedule, hiring someone as a "house manager"/household assistant role has CHANGED MY LIFE for the better. She handles the laundry, tidying up, putting dishes away. She wrapped the majority of my Christmas gifts which made me a much more merry person this season. Hourly she is cheaper than house cleaning, but the laundry help alone has brought me so much joy.
Thank you! Can I ask how many hours a week you have her come? And if you’re willing to share a pay range and if you live in a high/medium/low COL area?
Totally! Started with 5ish hours a week, started at $22/hour, and I live in a low/medium COL midwest (St. Louis). We found someone through a group that targets Occupational Therapy students looking for part time work (normally babysitting or such), but it was actually a spouse of a student looking for a part time job to supplement her non-profit work.
I listed out all the things we needed help with (stocking diapers for the baby, laundry and folding, tidying up playroom, running a vacuum for the never ending dog hair, grabbing a quick costco order, etc). I paid using Venmo, and we had super flexible hours so whatever days worked best. I left a list, and she got to work. She also helped with occasional babysitting, and things like an extra set of hands for a birthday party - which was amazing! So nice to have someone else to cut cake pieces, refresh food, etc so I can pay attention to my child!
Since then, she has moved home and we found a new manager. I have increased the role to include more hours and a bigger scope as our new manager seems to thrive taking on more projects - she was home for the HVAC appointment last month when I could not find a time to be present. She is working with my handyman to replace a broken window so I do not have to be involved. She sent my husband a reminder to fill my stocking!
Happy to talk more offline, but this has been the single best thing I have done for my household.
Thank you, this is incredibly helpful! I was hoping I could find somebody for $20/hr but the very qualified person I spoke with is $25/hr in our medium COL Midwestern college town, so I should probably just go for it! I’ve also posted to the college job site but it may be worth just going with the person who will probably offer better continuity.
So interesting to see how she balances the load with her partner. My husband is 1000% more domestic than I am and societally I feel a lot of pressure to feel guilty about that. Trying to resist.
I am curious how you landed on that age gap with your kiddos? We just had our first but I would like a significant spread too. It’s so smart to lean on other families when the care looks so different for each age, thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the work you do!
I work as an obgyn ARNP, have a husband with work travel and have 3 kids, very much related to this! There is so much time spent on charting etc outside of seeing patients. Thanks for sharing!
I’m a pediatrician and I love seeing how other medical professionals make it work! I also resisted hiring someone to help clean but it made a huge difference for us as well.
Just got back from a trip to India and I’ve seen how much my friends with kids outsource (not unusual for that part of the world if you are affluent) — most people have nannies, cooks, home help, drivers etc. I think it was a reminder for me to not feel guilty for outsourcing things if I can manage to budget for it and focus on what’s really important
Would love to hear more about how people find housekeepers
Word of mouth, asking around, and asking on Facebook!