HISMD: Part-Time Graduate School Student (Mental Health Counseling) & SAHM

Hybrid. Partner (in-office). 2 girls - 12yo & 5yo. Pittsburgh, PA. 45.

Each Thursday, the “How I Structure My Day” series features women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I do!

Quick announcement before we get to the good stuff

The dates for the 2026-2027 “season” of the Bright Method 10-week program are now available. If you’re interested in learning the full Bright Method this fall, you can learn all about it here – and jump on the waitlist for “add to calendar” options!

Okay, on to the good stuff!

The Snapshot

• Profession: Part-Time Graduate School Student (Mental Health Counseling) & SAHM

• Hybrid

• Partner: Yes (in-office)

• Children: Yes – 2 girls (12 & 5yo.)

• Pittsburgh, PA

• 45

Typical Morning:

• My husband leaves for work every day before we are even awake, so I'm always parenting solo on weekday mornings.

• On the days we have our eldest daughter (we have shared custody) I get up at 6:15am (alarm clock) to see her off to Middle School. On the days I don't need to do that I get up at 7am with my alarm clock or my younger starts calling for me.

• I am NOT a morning person and struggle with getting up and getting going every day, especially during the winter.

• After I get my older daughter off to the bus I make my first cup of coffee and give myself a little relaxing time scrolling on my phone.

• When the coffee is done I get going: making breakfast, making snack/lunch, packing my daughter's bag, helping her get ready for school, letting the dogs out, packing my bag for my internship, unloading the dishwasher, throwing a load of laundry in, possibly a little dinner prep if time permits.

• My schedule has changed literally every semester since the Fall of 2020 when I started grad school but my current schedule for this semester is:

  • Mon- middle school bus 7:10am, drop younger at nature preschool 9am (or carpool with our neighbor), quick grocery store run, prep crock pot dinner, homework, personal therapy, preschool pickup at noon, feed younger lunch and hang out for a bit, drop her off at Grandma's at 2:45, meet older at the bus at 3, drive into the city for grad school class which is 4-5:30 (older is either with her dad or does HW at my school while I have class), commute back, pick up younger at Grandma's, head home, feed everyone, help with HW, take older to swim practice, shower & bedtime.

  • Tues- middle school bus, prep younger for school, pack my bag/lunch for internship, PS drop, run home to let dogs out and finish getting ready (school is 2 min from our house!), head to my internship, work there for 4 hours and then either pick up younger from Grandma's or do a quick errand/appt then get her, Tues evenings are more low key b/c older is with her dad so I use the time to catch up on work or let myself relax with a show.

  • Wed- PS drop, prep for internship, internship then head straight to PS to pick up younger, head home to relax/dinner prep, feed younger dinner, head to dance class (this is a highlight of the week b/c we have "dance mom friends" and we have a little happy hour while the girls are in class, feed younger dinner #2, quick bath, put her to bed, me time (I usually do a skin care treatment while watching a fun show), every other week couples counseling on Zoom at 8pm.

  • Thurs- PS drop, ME TIME, this can look like exercise, therapy, Target run, meal prep, homework, dr appts, cleaning the house, etc. often Grandma will pick up younger at school and take her to swim class but sometimes I do, then I collect the older one and her 2 friends off the bus, facilitate HW and snacks and drive them to their acting class, pick up younger on my way home, feed her dinner, bath/bed for her, then pick up older from acting (or her dad will sometimes), feed her dinner, help her with HW/studying, then bedtime together.

  • Fri- middle school bus, PS drop off, errands/HW/housecleaning/admin time/exercise, pick up younger at 12pm, often we do a playdate with a friend after school, older gets home at 3pm and then we have chill time or friend time or family movie night.

Morning "Make Life Easier" Hacks

• I allow myself one cup of coffee and phone time before I jump into the morning. My youngest knows that when the first cup of coffee is done I'm available to help her and get our day started. Anything that needs to be remembered for that morning is entered as a reminder into my calendar. And if it's extremely important I will set an alarm with a label "make sure I packed swim bag!" for example.

• My best tip for a good start to the day is to have the kitchen clean before bed! Dishwasher set to run, counters cleared and wiped down, random items put back, etc. Starting the day off with a clean kitchen is everything!

Transition Into Work Mode

• I'm a person who has a hard time working if my space feels cluttered or messy. So I have a little routine where I blast my favorite music on Alexa and spend the length of one song tidying up each room in the downstairs of our house- this works nicely because our downstairs rooms are in a circle! I spend about 3 to 4 minutes in each space (front entry, powder room, den, kitchen, dining room, playroom) and I'll give each space a little love. This looks like putting things back where they belong, bringing dishes to the sink, putting toys away, throwing out snack wrappers, clearing off the DR table and spraying it down, putting extra shoes back in the bedrooms, etc. My favorite tunes keep me going and I get a little dopamine hit by having a tidier space. It's also a finite amount of time in each room (one song) and I make myself stay focused in each room. So instead of feeling overwhelmed by the idea of cleaning the whole house, I am limiting the amount of time I'm spending on tidying and I still see good results. THEN, I'm ready to tackle my schoolwork.

What My Work Day Looks Like

• On my internship days I am mostly with clients straight through. Sometimes my supervisor and I will have a few minutes to talk between clients. Currently my internship is only 8 hours a week but starting in May (and going through December when I graduate) I will be required to intern 20 hours a week. Plus class time. The days and times are varied each semester so every few months I have to make a new child care plan.

• I'm grateful to have our "bonus Grandma" close by who helps with our younger child when I have class. Somehow we make it all work! Sometimes I rely on friends/neighbors (if we have a remote/snow day for example). I really value our Village and try to help as much as I can and I gratefully receive help when I need it.

Lunch/Snacks

• Internship days I usually eat in the car after work.

• On non-internship days I make lunch at home and eat while I work on my computer.

Breaks

• I don't schedule breaks into my days because of the nature of each day looking so different, plus I do naturally get some breaks on my stay at home days, however, I have a nightly wind down routine that I really treasure. My husband has an alarm set on his phone (thanks for the tip, Kelly!) to find our eldest daughter at 8pm and touch base with her about wrapping up school work, studying, prepping for the next day. That's my cue to take a shower and do my skin care routine. It gives me a little break from my velcro kid and helps me to relax before the last part of the evening.

Leaving Work

• Because I have been a SAHM plus grad student for the past few years I've gotten good at fitting school work/studying in wherever I can- naptime, if a grandparent is in town, after my kids are in bed, weekends, etc. If I don't have a lot going on with school I stop working by 8 or 9pm.

Transition Out of Work Mode

• At this point I haven't needed to, however, my professor just shared two helpful tips for transitioning out of counseling mode to personal life that I will try to implement when I am working: On her walk home from work she imagined setting her metaphorical briefcase down at a tree that was partway between her job and home. She then would "pick up the briefcase" the next day on her walk to work. The other thing she suggested was writing down all of her thoughts/worries from work in a journal after her day was done and that helped her to release the worries and not have them affect her sleep.

After Work/Evening Hours

• The "have to's" are: my own homework, tidying up the house, laundry, dinner, baths/showers, after school activities, assist with homework/studying, dog care and bedtime routine.

• The "nice to's": I like to habit stack a little self care time which includes laying on my Shakti mat while using my LED mask and listening to a guided meditation on the Calm app. Shower and extended skin care routine while I watch a fun/light hearted show on Netflix (I prop my phone up in the bathroom). I always read before bed! (Due to challenges with insomnia I realized I do best with light hearted reading before bed and especially try to focus on young adult lit like Anne of Green Gables.)

Dinner Time/Meal Tips

• After doing the Fair Play card deck last winter we decided my husband would be in charge of one meal each week (Sundays). Planning it, making sure we have the ingredients, cooking, etc. We also try to make this a consistent dinner so the children know what to expect (it's usually taco night but sometimes we throw in pot roast or soup or make your own pizza). Due to having shared custody of our eldest plus with all of her evening activities plus having a younger child who goes to bed early, it's extremely difficult to eat altogether so our one consistent family dinner is Sundays at 5:30pm. I entered perimenopause last winter and noticed my sleep is so much better when I eat dinner earlier so I try to eat before 6pm most nights. We feed our youngest around 5/530, I eat after that and my husband eats around 7pm while watching Jeopardy. When we have our eldest we feed her after her evening activities. Because of this unique schedule we really treasure and protect Sunday dinners.

• When I plan my upcoming week on Sunday afternoons I look at each day, see how busy of a day it is and what evening activities are happening, and then try to plug in meals that best fit our schedule. For example, Wednesday nights I take my younger daughter to dance and we don't get home until 6pm so I make sure that's a crock pot night.

• I also have a running list of meals that everyone enjoys (news flash- it's short!) in my Tasks list so I can quickly refer to it if I'm feeling stuck on meal planning.

• I also make sure to plug in a leftover night each week because I'm big on reducing food waste and it also saves us time!

• And one night we call YOYO/Freezer Finds :) You're On Your Own means find your own food lol. And Freezer Finds means to rummage through all the great options in the freezer (prepared meals, frozen leftovers, etc.)

Evening Non-Negotiables

• My husband and I rotate our younger's bedtime with feeding the dogs/cleaning the kitchen (if he puts her to bed then I'm on dog dinner/kitchen clean up and vice versa). We always run the dishwasher each evening (make sure to put those germy water bottles in!). Part of my wind down routine is taking a shower each night- usually just a "body wash" but it helps cue my body that I'm getting ready for bed.

Afternoon/Evening “Make Life Smoother” Tips

• Divide and conquer with my husband. He does best with having assigned jobs (vs. seeing what needs to be done).

• Having dinner either made or prepped or in the crock pot if I have time in the morning is such a gift to my future self!

• I also like to make a couple of meals if I have time in the morning on Mondays and then we eat leftovers or repurpose for a couple of days.

• I have a 1 hour time limit for Instagram and I try hard to avoid scrolling in the evening.

• I also have a very hard cutoff for my bedtime because sleep is essential for my health and wellbeing. I'm not a pleasant person without 9 hours!

• I have learned over the past few years that trying to multitask when my kids are around is usually a set up for failure and frustration. So I try to be present and put my phone away as much as possible in the afternoons/evenings when we are together.

Sharing the Load with a Partner

• My husband and I try to have weekly check in meetings (on the recurring calendar!) where we go over any and everything- schedules, upcoming events/ parties, something that he said that bothered me, a pain point I need help with, doctors appt to schedule, party gifts to buy, etc. I keep a running list of things I want to discuss with him in Tasks labeled "S & D time". It's also helpful because when I'm annoyed I can jot down a note in the Task list instead of bringing it up in the moment which might lead to a fight. Knowing I have time and space to address whatever grievance I have at a later date helps to release some of the irritation. As the kids get older and everyone's needs change we have had to adjust some of the responsibilities.

Things You Do For Fun/You During the Week

• I read for pleasure every night.

• Maybe once a week I watch my favorite reality TV shows.

• I love getting a walk in with a friend- movement, connection, time in nature- the trifecta!

• About once a month my husband and I will have a date nite.

• Once in a while I get out for dinner or drinks with girlfriends.

• We do a lot of moms/kids hangouts with our group of friends (my younger's crowd). Over the past couple of years I feel so fortunate we've built a group of friends where the moms are all good friends and the kids are all good friends- it's such a gift! We take turns hosting playdates, we share/care, carpool, help each other out with grocery/Target runs, get together for happy hour, go to family friendly events together, do "family swim" at the place everyone takes swimming lessons, meals out, summer concerts, etc. It's the best.

• Weekends we try to plan one family fun activity for the 4 of us. It can be as small as doing a craft together or it can be going sledding!

Exercise/Body Movement

• It's random! When the weather is not freezing or super hot I will walk in my neighborhood with my weighted vest and listen to music or a podcast. We have lots of hills and it's a pretty place to walk with lots of trees so I'm getting time in nature plus movement.

• I also try to schedule walks with friends/neighbors as much as possible.

• I keep weights in the playroom so I try to fit in some arms when I'm hanging out with the kids. I also have heavy weights I try to do a few times a week (preferably in the morning when everyone is at school/work.)

Outsourcing

• We have a housecleaner that comes once a month (she used to come twice but we decided to reduce it to once to save costs).

• I outsource more help in the summer when the kids are out of school. In addition to some summer camp/traveling we hire our amazing sitter when she comes home from college so that I can get some extra things done around the house, I can catch up on admin tasks or we can schedule some additional date nites/days.

Anything Else the Sharer Wants to Share

• My husband works as a supervisor in a construction job so he leaves the house incredibly early and has variable hours. In the more temperate months he can easily be gone 12+ hours. During the winter he tends to get home at a more reasonable time. When he's home, he's awesome about jumping in to help with kid stuff/dinner prep, etc so I can have a break or do schoolwork. He's also "in the field" all day so he doesn't have the type of job where he can order groceries for us online or participate in couples therapy on a lunch break via Zoom (no lunch break), take kids to DR. appts, etc. Just sharing for some context.

• Also, as you might have gathered from my sharing, my husband and I have very little time alone together during the week. We do a lot of dividing and conquering and by the time the kids are settled we are pretty wiped out and prefer to have our alone time in the evening to wind down. This is something we are looking at and trying to tweak a bit so we can have more quality time together. (We also have zero overlap with the shows we watch...)

• Co-parenting our oldest daughter takes a ton of behind the scenes communication and negotiation. I joke that I talk to my first husband more than I talk to my "current" husband lol! We rely heavily on a shared Google Calendar and put EVERYTHING in it related to our daughter- doctor's appts, school spirit days, acting class carpool, playdates, swim meets, birthday parties, etc.

• I prioritize my personal therapy (about every other week) as it helps me to process all the things and stay balanced as a mom/wife/friend/student. It's hugely helpful and I'm a big proponent for everyone!

• We have a white board in the kitchen that has my older daughter's custody schedule on it so it's highly visible- it also has all of the kid activities on it like swimming lessons, playdates, etc. I rely on my Google calendar for everything- school/internship hours/family things/birthdays/to-do's, etc.. In addition to the Google calendar, every Sunday I take a piece of 8x10 paper, divide it up into sections for M, T, W, Th, F, Sa, Sun, & Notes. I go through my Google calendar and pull everything on to the paper schedule of the week. For example, Mon: Preschool 9-12, therapy 11am, Zoom with professor 2pm, etc. I add all the random things to the Notes section that I haven't yet calendared or figured out what to do with. And I also put our dinner plan on it. Then I stick that paper on the fridge so I look at it constantly through the day- it's so helpful to have a visual reminder of all the odds and ends each day!

• My younger child is a bit harder to parent so it takes me a lot of energy and effort to be the mom I want to be for her. That means I try to up my self-care and rest when I can so that I can be present and patient for her. Due to co-parenting my older daughter our time together is so limited (plus she has a busy social life and activities). So the time we are together is incredibly important to me, and I will always prioritize that time together. We often read together at night and chat about our day. I also incentivize her to get to bed early by saying if she's in bed by 8:30 (she can read in bed) I will give her a massage as she drifts off to sleep. She loves it!

• I ALWAYS accept help and I'm not shy about asking for help. We rely on a lot our Bonus Grandma for child care who lives close by. When the other grandparents come to town I always try to plan a date nite (free babysitting!) and/or will plan for them to take the kids on an outing so hubby and I can tackle some of our house to-do list (organize the basement, etc.) We also do a swap with one of our neighbor friends where we take her daughter for a few hours once in a while and then she'll take mine the next time. Free child care and the kids have a blast together!

And this sharer asked for help:

Three areas where I’d love feedback and helpful suggestions are:

• Ways to create more time for my partner and myself to connect

• How to build in exercise at home when the weather isn’t agreeable to outdoor walking

• How to get more organized/disciplined with the financial tasks that go along with running a home and family (bill paying, looking over accounts, budgeting, etc.)

That’s a wrap for this one!

Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing. These publish every Thursday!

A reminder of the ground rules to ensure women continue wanting to share about their days and feel safe doing so.

• Encouraging comments always welcome!

• If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.

• If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.

• Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!

New here? Welcome!

I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies.

My system, the Bright Method, has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, and my work has been published in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more. Learn more on my website, come learn bite-sized strategies with me on Instagram, or jump into my free 5-day program.

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