HISMD: Rabbi in a Mid-Size Congregation

Partner-free. Kid-free. In office. Mid-Atlantic.

This "How I Structure My Day" series started with an Instagram post I made about my own life, which prompted a woman to ask if it would be possible to see how women working a more traditional, full-time job did it. I asked women to share, and, man, have people responded. The goal is to show how women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. structure their day. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do!

The Snapshot

• Partner-Free

• Kid-free

• Mostly in office; some hybrid (Note: Works 6d/w - Tuesday-Sunday)

• Mid-Atlantic

Typical Morning

• In-office days:

  • 5:45-6am: Wake up with alarm

  • 6am: Feed the cat!

  • Put food for the day in my lunch bag with an ice pack (I meal prep, so I just take the day’s container from the fridge), put both this and my work bag by the door

  • 6ish-6:30am: Get washed up, stretch while listening to a podcast, get dressed, head to the car

  • 6:45-6:50am: Arrive at work, prep for services, greet congregants

  • 7-7:30am: Services

  • 7:30-8am: Meet with congregants OR most days head up to my office and enjoy some scrolling/reading while eating breakfast brought from home

  • 9am: regular office staff start arriving, check-in’s and meetings start

  • Rest of the morning blocked off for teaching prep, pastoral/hospital visits, event and programmatic work

• Hybrid days:

  • 6:30am: Wakeup, feed the cat!, get washed up

  • 6:45-7:15am: Workout

  • 7:15-8:45am: Shower, get dressed & eat leisurely breakfast

  • 9-9:30am: Email check, get ready for online class

  • 9:40-11:15am: Teaching (1hr) & follow-ups with congregants/office staff

  • 11:30am-12:45pm: Errands or house admin (my luxury is sending my laundry out!), lunch

  • 1pm: Head into the office

Morning "Make Life Easier" Hacks

• I use alarms in the morning to remind me when I need to get out of the house (including one that means I’ll be 5 minutes late that’s titled “no really, you need to leave now”).

• When I am on top of my stuff (70% of the time??), I meal prep and clothing prep (an outfit a day) once a week so that my breakfasts/lunches are set in the fridge and ready to go in the morning – when I don’t, it’s real bad, and I am very hungry and stressed haha.

• The nature of the job is that unexpected things come up (deaths, births, illness, crises, etc.), so the more I can have set/done ahead of time, the more time I can spend on the important stuff - being really present with people and being patient with myself and our imperfect systems, and able to hold big emotions and events with folks.

• I try to prep as much as I can on my day off (Mondays).

• I try as much as possible to get to bed between 10-11pm because when I don’t get sleep, the day drags.

Transition into Work Mode

• I listen to either really silly (about romance novels) or really neutral (about philosophers/history of art) podcasts on the way into work.

• The 30 minutes of breakfast and scrolling also helps there to be a gentle landing.

What my work day looks like

• Quite variable, with some predictable blocks.

• Mornings are spent preparing (teaching prep for adult classes and kids’ classes, sermons, scheduling work), with some meetings (1x/week with the rest of the clergy team, sometimes parent meetings, sometimes pastoral visits or “lifecycle event” prep).

• Afternoons are often meetings (staff meetings, after school meetings with kids)

• Early evenings (5-7pm) I’ve tried to block off for dinner at home and a bit of decompressing/collapsing on my couch/staring at a phone time.

• 7:30-9:30pm, depending on the the day, can have meetings and programs/events. 2-3 days a week I’m back at the office from 7:30-8pm for services (we rotate as a clergy team so we’re not on every day).

• If there’s a funeral, everything shifts for about 2-3 days in the lead-up - most people are really understanding about moving/canceling meetings in this case.

Lunch/Snacks

• 12:30-1ish pm - I have it blocked off on my calendar. Snacks around 11am and 4pm.

Breaks

• Yes, from 5-7pm on weekdays for dinner, and 30 minute-2 hour blocks for prep for certain classes or for sermons, depending on how long the task will take, or how much I want to prepare.

Transition out of work mode

• I’ll sometimes listen to classical music or call family on my drive home, and when I get in, use lower lighting for the rest of the evening to calm my nervous system down.

Leaving work

• I try to leave at 5pm, and to stop looking at my phone/email by 8pm. Some weekdays, if there’s a school break or if there’s a light afternoon, I will leave around 3pm.

After work hours

• FaceTime with friends or family (I love to see my niece and nephew over their dinner and bath time and help my sister out a little!).

• I’ll watch nail art videos or some TV after dinner.

• Occasionally, I’ll get out to dinner with friends, which I also love.

• I try to stretch/shower before bed, sometimes with a cup of tea.

• Other days it’s straight from work/dinner into shower/bed, and those days are rough.

• If I haven’t prepped for the week with meals and clothes, I’ll do that for the day ahead.

• If I haven’t been able to finish teaching or writing prep, that will also sometimes go here, or schedule-sending emails that I’ve not been able to respond to.

Nightime non-negotiables

• I always wash dishes and do a kitchen wipe-down/reset.

• Stretch. I can hold a lot in my body - stress, tension, just feeling emotional or overstimulated - and I find that stretching allows me to physically feel more relaxed when I get into bed.

Afternoon/evening “make life smoother” tips

• I bring snacks for the afternoon slump and will sometimes take a 15-20 minute walk in the building (or outside if it’s warm) to have a mental reset.

• I do use a social media blocker

• One of the office staffers knows that I try to get out of the office at 5pm and will stop by on her way out to say goodbye for the day and remind me to leave.

• I set two alarms (one at 9pm and one at 9:45pm) so if I’ve gotten sucked into the internet I have a reminder to come back to the land of the living.

Outsourcing

• I send my laundry out, and it makes a world of difference - it’s a cost I’m happy to eat.

• When I know there’s a 2-3 month period I’ll be particularly stressed, I’ll book a house cleaner to come every other week.

Exercise

• I tend to do shorter workouts at home 3-4 times a week:

  • a 10 minute HIIT workout,

  • a 20 minute Pilates video (I love Isa Welly), or

  • a Yoga video.

• I also like Barre workouts and will do a 30-minute one here or there if I have the extra time.

• On Fridays, I really try to leave work a little early and go to the pool for a 20-minute swim, and sit in the sauna. That is the best.

• Minimum, I’ll take a 15-20 minute walk at some point during the day and stretch my body.

Anything extra the sharer wants to share

• I feel like I’ve already overshared, haha! But something to note about my schedule is I technically work 6 days a week, Tuesday-Sunday. In terms of my weekend schedule, it depends on what we’ve got going on. Pretty much every Saturday I arrive at work at around 9am. Services are from 9:15-11:45am, we then have a communal lunch together (eat and schmooze), and I usually head home at around 1/1:30pm. Back in the afternoon/early evening for a weekly program.

• Sundays are dependent on the school calendar - sometimes the morning is full of teaching and religious school, sometimes it’s a free morning but we’ve got programs in the afternoon or evening.

That’s a wrap for this one!

Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing.

A reminder of the ground rules to ensure women continue wanting to share about their days and feel safe doing so.

• Encouraging comments always welcome!

• If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.

• If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.

• Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!

New here? Welcome!

I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. I teach the Bright Method, a realistic time management system designed for professional working women. In addition to this fun new series, I share bite-sized time management strategies on Instagram. Thanks for being here!

After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies. My system, the Bright Method, has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, and my work has been published in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more. Learn more on my website, come learn bite-sized strategies with me on Instagram, or jump into my free 5-day program.

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