HISMD: Senior Director, Fortune 500, Healthcare Logistics

Married. Three children – 6yo (full day school), 5yo (half day school+daycare), 8mo (daycare). Hybrid (4d/w in office). 2-hour commute each way. Midwest USA. Turning 40 this year.

This "How I Structure My Day" series started with an Instagram post I made about my own life, which prompted a woman to ask if it would be possible to see how women working a more traditional, full-time job did it. I asked women to share, and, man, have people responded. The goal is to show how women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. structure their day. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do!

The Snapshot

• Partner: Yes (WFH/some travel; he also does real estate on the side, which requires periodic evening/weekend commitments)

• Children: Yes (3) - 6yo (full day school), 5yo (half day school+daycare), 8mo (daycare)

• Hybrid - Monday is required for leadership (me); TWTh required for the rest of my team, including me; travel is minimal ~10%

• Midwest USA

• Turning 40 this year :)

Typical Morning

In-office days

• Alarms are a must! I have a 2 hour commute to the office (cue the tiniest violins) but the earliest I can drop the baby off at daycare is 6am so I am up by 5am to get myself ready, the baby up and ready, and in the car.

• Getting ready includes making myself presentable-ish, baby getting a fresh diaper/bottle/snuggles, grabbing a lunch if I have leftovers available, and packing my work bag/the baby's bag with whatever is needed for that day.

• I am one of three parents who drop off when the doors open and I am forever grateful for the sweetest daycare teachers who are very prompt to make sure I can drop and go.

• I usually treat myself to a coffee and breakfast from the coffee shop across the street from daycare to ensure my morning starts off on a positive note.

• I work with my international peers quite a bit so if I can schedule a call during my commute, I do.

WFH days

• I can't help but wake up in a decent mood when I don't have to face my commute. If I have work to catch up on, I set an alarm for 6am so I have some quiet/dedicated time in the morning before the girls wake up around 7am.

• Coffee is a must and I make it at home when I don't commute.

• Husband and I will switch kid duties and I will do the big girls routine starting at 7am until I get them on the bus at 8:20am.

• Meetings are usually light on Fridays but we try to stay flexible and pick up each other's routine assignments if the other person needs to be in front of their computer while any of the girls are still home.

• I am usually at my desk (designated home office) by 8:30/9am.

Morning "Make Life Easier" Hacks

• I'll need to give my kids major credit here, they do a fantastic job operating on their respective routines.

• We have a Skylight calendar (still too new to me to be able to sing it's praises but it is currently working as expected) and the older girls get "stars" for completing their regular routine items (get dressed, brush hair/teeth, etc.).

• To keep my husband and me aligned, I developed a "Daily Routine" tracker that assigns a parent to each of the key aspects of the girls' routines and activities throughout the day. This includes who is waking up which girl, packing lunches, dropping off, shuttling to activities, taking the baby monitor overnight, who would take a sick day if a girl falls ill (got this tip from one of Kelly's posts!), which parent gets to sleep in on which day, etc.

  • In response to comments requesting to see the tracker, the sharer generously shared it anonymously through me – see here. Here’s what she said about it: “Tracker template - I feel like seeing this will be a let down for some folks LOL - it's just an excel sheet - see attached. My suggestion for getting it started/getting buy-in from partners is to jot down all of the things that need to happen and then have a convo about the things they like to do and the things they hate to do. It was way easier for me to assign my husband things that he likes without getting much pushback. We both agree to be open when the other person wants to change things up. I make swaps about once a quarter and things ebb and flow. When my husband wants to go out with his friends, he doesn't ask me if he can go but he does ask if I can cover XYZ for him while he is out - sometimes I say yes, sometimes no.”

  • Side note for those who can’t share the load this consistently (i.e., relationships like mine with an ER doctor husband who’s gone often and in an ever-changing way, check out episode 76 of the Bright Method podcast, “When Your Partner is Gone A Lot: How to Share the Home Labor.”

• The current version of it lives on our fridge for reference and it has been life changing for my marriage and not feeling like I am always carrying the load (mental or otherwise). We keep it flexible so it can change over time as activities and routines change but it allows for me to plan my meetings accordingly.

• We also each have a "guaranteed work late night" in the event we need to put in some extra hours to get caught up.

Transition into Work Mode

• This is a work in progress for me and I am actively looking for tips and tricks that will help me create better boundaries. My home office is right next to the kitchen and my husband's is in an extra bedroom upstairs so we both struggle to memorialize that transition time. If I have a free moment while making dinner, I will often pop in to my office to check email/chat. I really hate that my kids see me do this.

What my work day looks like

• My calls usually start at 8 or 8:30 (if I didn’t already have international calls during the commute), and I do my best to be at my desk by that time but my team understands traffic happens so sometimes I call from the car.

• Soooo many meetings, all back to back and double booked all the time. I try to prioritize meetings with my direct reports or their team members to keep them moving on what they are working on. It's a tense time at work right now (lots of layoffs, restructuring, etc.) but I've come to terms with knowing I am doing my best and I can only control what I can. I do crave a more structured work day but I don't think that is feasible at this time.

Lunch/Snacks

• I don't have a set schedule for this but I try to listen to my body to tell me when it is time to eat.

• When in the office, we have a decent cafe and other grab and go items. Not super economical but it does the trick if I have not packed lunch.

• If I'm WFH my husband will typically source something fun for lunch or I can easily pull something together from the fridge between or during calls.

Breaks

• Since I am still breastfeeding, I have scheduled pumping times since I have to share the mother's room with others on my floor. This has forced me to "take a break" but I am not sure I would schedule a time block if I didn't have to.

• Since I have the time blocked, I let my mood and motivation levels determine what I do during that time (besides pump)...could be catching up on work emails, refining my to-do lists, playing on my phone, or closing my eyes.

Leaving work

• Because my current work situation is so tense, there is active monitoring/enforcement of badges in/out of the office to make sure people are respecting the hybrid situation.

• With that said, I still leave the office promptly at 4pm in order to make it home in time to put the baby to bed, make dinner, connect with my family, etc. This is technically outside of what is allowed but I am hopeful my work speaks for itself and that they recognize my work still gets done even if I am not physically at my desk. Since I usually sit on calls all day, I can easily accommodate meetings up until 6pm (when I get home) by calling in from my commute home. When WFH, I try to shutdown by 3pm so I can take a breath before the weekend starts.

• A follow up comment from the sharer: “corporate america and monitoring my badge swipes - my personality is that I like to clear the air before someone has to bring "constructive" feedback to me. I've essentially gone to my boss and most of my stakeholders and said "I am leaving at 4pm each day and I understand that is outside of policy but that is what works for me. I fully understand if you need to cut ties with me as an employee because of this." No one has said anything since...yet....but it's been over a year.”

Transition out of work mode

• It is extremely important to me to put my phone/computer/other distractions away when I am with my girls. Since my time is so limited with them, I don't want them to have to compete for my attention. This is way easier said than done but because it is a top priority for me and my husband, I empower them to correct me and tell me to put my phone down or to come play with them. In the event I need to get something done (make dinner, catch up on chores, etc.), I try to make it fun for them to come help me. In short, my kids call the shots for when I am "done" with work. This is what works for now!

After work hours

• Plug in to my girls as much as I can. Depending on the day, I will also have various things assigned to me on the "Daily Routine" tracker I previously mentioned. A typical post-work evening these days could be playing school/restaurant or making dinner, doing baths, and the girls' bedtime routines. My preferred evening is putting the baby to bed (allll the snuggles!), making dinner, and then putting the older girls to bed. This typically means I won't be responsible for unpacking backpacks, baths, and kitchen clean up.

After kid-bedtime hours

• If I am putting the girls to bed, I don't have a ton of time between that and when I like to be in bed myself (8:30/9) but I am actively working on limiting my doom scrolling. I've been successful in transitioning to reading more often (kindle) and have also evolved my self-care focus with a very basic skin care routine. I've tried to get in to shows and watching something with my husband, but my post-baby brain capacity/attention span doesn't allow me to follow a show or a movie very well. Sometimes he will read next to me which we count as bonding time at this point in our lives with such a young family. If work is crazy, I might open my computer back up but I'm usually not in a great headspace to do that so I don't. Not surprisingly, the work is still there when I wake up :)

Nightime non-negotiables

• It typically depends on who is assigned to what on the "Daily Routine" tracker (seeing a pattern?!?!) but when a task is assigned, there is also an understanding that the autonomy in how the task is done exists. My husband does things very different from me but as long as the task is fully complete, it's a win. For example, if I am responsible for the older girls' lunches, I like to make them fresh in the morning in specific Bento boxes with certain food categories in each box section. My husband prefers to throw a bunch of things in a brown paper bag the night before so he doesn't have to worry about it in the morning. Kids are fed = everyone is happy!

• As for myself, I do typically shower in the evening and I keep a very simple wardrobe/wear branded clothes so I don't have to think through or over complicate my mornings. My new skin care routine also allows me to feel polished with little/no make up so the morning routine is very streamlined.

  • In response to comments requesting to hear more about her skincare, the sharer generously shared: “Skin care - another potential letdown for folks LOL - morning routine is Vitamin C (Paula's Choice) and a very light liquid sunscreen (Paula's Choice) and then a beauty tube type mascara (no smudging so sometimes I can get two days out of it LOL - I use Loreal). If I feel like I look very tired, I will top up my "look" with some tinted SPF (Supergoop) underneath my eyes. Nighttime routine is an entry level retinol and some heavy moisturizer. If I am feeling fancy I will do some Peace Out retinol eye patches/retinol strips or Frownies. I do regularly get brow waxes and a quarterly hydrafacial so that I can keep my at home routine as simple as possible.”

Afternoon/evening “make life smoother” tips

• Lot's of ideas here but the top three are:

  • 1) the "Daily Routine" tracker,

  • 2)** being aligned with my husband on our macro priorities (lots of focused family time with limited phones, eating together as a family, very limited kids activities at their current ages, etc.), and

    • **This is critical and has not always been like this. My marriage has seen some dark days for a variety of reasons, but thankfully, we've done a lot of work individually and together in therapy to work through lots of things, a big one being the mental load imbalance and managing the resentment from our very early parenting days/COVID. It has taken a long time to be able to see and acknowledge each other's contributions and recognize that we are a team marching towards the same goals.

  • 3) designing the girls' routines to set the entire family up for success while still being age appropriate.

    • For example, the older girls are responsible for unpacking their backpacks and putting their shoes/coats away when they get home from school. They earn stars for this through the Skylight calendar (they just love to touch the complete button LOL).

    • If they unpack their own backpack, then they are responsible for deciding which papers/artwork they get to keep, and they know where to put them.

    • If they decide not to unpack their backpack, that is their choice, but then they do not get the star for completing the task, and I get to decide where the paperwork/artwork goes (spoiler alert...it's the garbage).

Sharing the load with a partner

• If you aren't on the same page with your partner or face resistance in any capacity, therapy is my top recommendation. All therapists are not created equal so it might take some time to find a good one. Also...come ready to take a deep look at yourself and what YOU can change/bring to the table. That's all you can control.

  • A follow up comment from the sharer: “Getting partner on board with therapy - get your own therapist and they can help you craft your message specific to your situation.”

• If you are aligned with your partner, getting all of the different "load" items down on paper and assigned (aka - the "Daily Routine" tracker). Ours is a simple one pager but has proved critical to making sure all of the necessary things get done. Keep it flexible and be open and honest if you have too much on your plate. It might be a season or it could mean some macro things need to change.

• Also a shared Google calendar. My husband did not use a calendar at all until he met me (wtf) and it took years to get him on board with a shared calendar, but it's crucial for us to make all the pieces fit.

What do you do for yourself/fun during the week

• I am a classic introvert so any opportunity where I can be alone/do almost nothing is right up my alley. My husband is an extrovert and loves to be with his friends and he has many hobbies. If he's making plans to do stuff during the week, he will make sure it is after his assigned tasks are done (after the girls bedtime) and I am very supportive because then I get to recharge my introvert battery. I have some hobbies as well (I love woodworking and carpentry, evolving my house in to a home one room at a time) but right now is not a season where I am focused on that.

Exercise

• Ooooof, next question please. I stretch at night if my body is sore but otherwise just keep very loose tabs on my step count, which is typically between 10,000 to 15,000 per day with chasing around kids and whatnot. Need to get better at this!

Outsourcing

• ALL THE THINGS! I have a cleaner come every other week so while we do tidying along the way/each day, she deep cleans on a rotational basis.

• I outsource most of the laundry where I put dirty stuff out on Fridays and it gets returned on Tuesdays (older girls get a star on Tuesdays if they help put away their own stuff).

• I also have a virtual assistant who does all of my meal planning, grocery order set up, birthday party planning, vacation planning, various appointment scheduling, calendar management, etc. My husband was very skeptical at first (he still is grasping the concept of mental load and the never ending to do lists that come along with being a working parent of very young kids!) but I did a rate per hour comparison and he can see how much happier I am with my lighter load so now he views it as a need vs a want.

  • I use my window time during my commute to chat with the VA on what needs to get done, answer any questions, set priorities, etc.

  • In response to comments, she also generously shared: “Virtual Assistant - I originally found my first one through the comments on a @thecorporatemama instagram post - it was a great first experience (female owned and operated, super informal structure, one lady band) but ultimately I decided I needed something a little bit different so I switched over to Faye and I LOVE it. Again, female founder (who is amazing, btw! Hi, Emily!) and the technology they have for tracking things and truly being able to watch my tasks get updated and closed was exactly what I was missing from my first experience. It was also cheaper! One more thing to add for this is that I try to use the VA to help me set up systems that I can use in my home to eventually "take back" the task - that way I know it can be a temporary investment if it needs to be. For example, I do not need a brand new meal plan each week....we've been working on putting together a list of meals that would be good for rotation and can plug and play easily. Eventually, I will have that list myself and can easily make a full month's worth of rotatable options and can cut that task from my VA. More time for her to plan vacations and bday parties....which I absolutely loathe doing.”

Anything extra the sharer wants to share

• I am very proud of myself and my husband with how far we've come with managing our schedules and determining where we spend our time. It has not always been like this and will not always be like this but I like where we are! I have a continuous improvement mindset so if something isn't working for me, I figure out how to change it/make it work and I am willing to try what grabs my interest/is relevant from podcasts, tips from girlfriends/coworkers, etc. However, I've tried to be better about just accepting what life is during this stage of my life. I don't get to see girlfriends as much but I do keep in touch via text. I don't have an exercise routine but I feed my body well to compensate for that and know that I can reprioritize at any time. At the end of the day, I feel that I am doing my best and that is good enough for me.

  • In response to a woman on Instagram commenting, “I’d love to hear which podcasts support her continuous improvement mindset…I love that,” she responded via email to me to share anonymously: “podcast recs - it's honestly yours! While I am not a formal client of your services, I get at least one thing out of each of your episodes. And I listen to them on repeat sometimes because #mombrain and while not everything makes sense for me to implement realistically, I've been able to implement (and stick with!) what works for me.”

That’s a wrap for this one!

Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing.

A reminder of the ground rules to ensure women continue wanting to share about their days and feel safe doing so.

Side note: This particular sharer emailed me after I posted her post on Instagram and said, “Hi! I have seen most of the comments and am so BLOWN away by how sweet and encouraging everyone has been. I am so happy I shared because reading the comments is so motivating for me to keep on keeping on!” The women sharing do read the comments, so that’s why we have these rules. Kind comments and questions really matter!

• Encouraging comments always welcome!

• If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.

• If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.

• Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!

New here? Welcome!

I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. I teach the Bright Method, a realistic time management system designed for professional working women. In addition to this fun new series, I share bite-sized time management strategies on Instagram. Thanks for being here!

After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies. My system, the Bright Method, has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, and my work has been published in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more. Learn more on my website, come learn bite-sized strategies with me on Instagram, or jump into my free 5-day program.

Need help finding more articles?

Click here to go to the HISMD index!

Know a friend who might love this, too?

Send it to your friend – or the whole group chat!