HISMD: Software Engineering Program Management Manager

Hybrid (WFH M/F and in office Tu/W/Th). Partner. 3 kids - 7yo, 4yo, & 2yo. California, USA. Has diagnosed ADHD.

Each Thursday, the “How I Structure My Day” series features women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I do!

Before we get to the good stuff…

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The Snapshot

• Profession: Software Engineering Program Management Manager

• Hybrid - WFH M/F and in office Tu/W/Th

• Partner: Yes

• Children: Yes – 3 kids (7yo, 4yo, & 2yo)

• California, USA

• Has diagnosed ADHD

Typical Morning / Day Overviews:

• Everyday:

  • Wake up with an alarm at 5am

  • Get a couple work things done in 30 minutes

  • At 5:30am I get ready quickly, then my husband cooks breakfast while I pack lunches

  • Wake the kids at 6:30am and help them get dressed/fed

  • My husband and I both leave the house at 7am. He goes to work, I drop the youngest at daycare and the older two at elementary school (school starts at 8:30am but we have a commute)

• Tu/W/Th:

  • After drop off I drive to work and focus only on work from 9am until 4-5pm (depending on meetings)

  • Unfortunately, I usually work through lunch, but I try to schedule less formal 1:1s during that time so it feels like a break to chat rather than nonstop work
    When I am done, I commute home for about an hour

  • If I am home by 5:30pm we eat dinner as a family at the dinner table (my husband cooks while I am commuting), if I am home later I will heat my dinner back up and eat while my kids play/do homework in the kitchen so we can chat during it

  • We prioritize family time from about 6pm until 7pm. I do not clean during this time and I do not even think about work during this window
    (see the bottom for nighttime routine!)

• M/F:

  • After drop off I drive back home

  • These days are still very work heavy, but I am able to do some laundry/light clean up in between work tasks

  • I wrap up by 5pm on Monday and cook dinner for the family

  • I wrap up by 4pm on Friday, but the kids get to have take out and movie on Friday nights so my husband and I can reset a bit

  • On Mondays I will often have to be in and out of work conversations on Slack (from my phone), but on Friday nights I put my phone away and join the kids for their movie

• Everyday:

  • At 7pm I take the kids upstairs to get ready for bed while my husband does a 30 minute clean up/dishes

  • The kids are down by 7:30pm, and I will wrap up a couple of loose ends for work

  • I try to be off of my computer by 8pm to read, watch TV, or connect with my husband

  • I am in bed by 9:30 or 10pm

Morning "Make Life Easier" Hacks

• We have a recurring alarm for the days that we need to bring something to school (e.g. my son’s library book is due back on Wednesday, my daughter’s weekly homework is due on Thursdays)

• We wake our kids up a bit early so we have 5-10 minutes to lay in bed with them so they can wake up slow (this really helps them to be more positive as the day begins)

• We do the same routine every morning (wake up, go potty, brush teeth, get dressed, go downstairs to eat) and keeping that routine makes it feel less stressful

Transition Into Work Mode

• I start my day by looking at my calendar to remind myself of what’s ahead

• I also have a decent commute time between drop offs and starting work every day (whether in office or at home), so I use that time to start thinking about what’s to come

• I avoid scheduling work calls on my commute because that feels like I’m switching gears too fast

What My Work Day Looks Like

• My days are very meeting heavy, which is why I often work a bit outside of the “normal” work day hours

• When I have some tasks to complete, I schedule them as meetings with myself so I look busy to others

• Since I live in my calendar, this serves as a great to do list

Lunch/Snacks

• I eat lunch at 12pm every day as my company is pretty good about respecting the lunch hour for meetings.

• I am not big on snacking throughout the work day

Breaks

• No, I pack my day full so I can really turn off in the evenings

Leaving Work

• 4-5pm

Transition Out of Work Mode

• I actually appreciate my commute because I can start the drive by thinking of some work things (I’ll use voice commands to send myself notes as I drive) and then I turn on an audiobook to switch gears

After Work/Evening Hours

• After my kids go to bed, I will often work for 30 minutes. I use this time to get caught up on Slack and ensure my meetings are set for the next day. Occasionally I will need to prep for a presentation at that time.

• After that, I will relax, which is most often watching TV with my husband on the couch. Sometimes we’ll read together or choose to just sit and chat if it feels like we haven’t been connecting. I have just started to pick up knitting which is great to do while watching TV because I have an unhealthy need to feel “productive” all the time. It’s a relaxing sort of productivity.

Evening Non-Negotiables

• I always ensure the dishes are done, either by my husband or myself, but that’s about it (beyond personal care like brushing my teeth, washing my face)!

• Showering at night will happen after hard days, but isn’t a must every evening.

Afternoon/Evening “Make Life Smoother” Tips

• A good bedtime routine is very important for my kids and me. It just goes better for all of us if we stick to the same routine, in the same order. I am okay with spending time on social media while I watch TV in the evenings, but I force myself to head upstairs at 9:30pm. I don’t often get sucked into something too much to call it quits then!

Exercise/Body Movement

• I take walking meetings at least once a day. This means at least 30 minutes of walking (usually more). I do not exercise beyond that!

Outsourcing

• We have a wonderful woman who cleans our house every two weeks. We’d be lost without her.

• I also use Target drive up to shop for some groceries and household items. This allows me to open the app and throw things in the shopping cart throughout the week (like toilet paper if I just grabbed the second to last roll, for example). Then I checkout on Sunday morning and have it loaded into my car as a part of our Sunday afternoon errands.

Anything Else the Sharer Wants to Share

• Having a supportive partner makes all the difference. I could not have had the career success I’ve had without him. And it’s teaching supportiveness to my kids too! I had a presentation I was stressed about earlier this week, and I came home to a sweet card from my daughter.

• On that note, working somewhere that supports parents is very important too. When a kid is sick, the childcare often falls to me because my job allows me to work from home. I am grateful they will accommodate that! They also respect my boundaries. I’ll often see a “she’ll be online soon, she’s dropping her kids off at school” in Slack messages, and it feels good to know that people have my back.

• I have diagnosed ADHD and now that I am older I have gotten good at knowing when is a good time to take on work that requires a lot of focus. When I am ready to hyper-focus, I will get tasks done that are hard at other times. When I’m not there, I’ll use the time to connect with people or cross some smaller tasks off of my to-do list.

• Speaking of my to-do list, that’s just a running note on my phone. I just add a line to it when an item comes up to get it out of my brain and on “paper.” Then I check the little check box next to it when it’s complete! I delete the completed items on Friday afternoon so I can go into the weekend with a sense of accomplishment.

• Leaving work at a reasonable hour is very important to me. I have found that being very vocal about that has not only inspired others to do the same but has also made people respect that boundary. I will make exceptions, of course, but I rarely feel like I don’t have the choice to say no. If I am needed there, they will reschedule.

That’s a wrap for this one!

Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing. These publish every Thursday!

A reminder of the ground rules to ensure women continue wanting to share about their days and feel safe doing so.

• Encouraging comments always welcome!

• If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.

• If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.

• Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!

New here? Welcome!

I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies.

My system, the Bright Method, has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, and my work has been published in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more. Learn more on my website, come learn bite-sized strategies with me on Instagram, or jump into my free 3-day program.

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