Less stress isn't always "efficient" – and that’s okay
Society often assumes the goal of time management is efficiency. But I'm after less stress – which often requires a slower pace, which requires more time, which is arguable "inefficient."
A few weeks ago, as I drove my oldest to camp, I low-key marveled at the realization that – despite being slow to get out of the house and hitting bad traffic – we were actually okay time-wise for camp drop-off.
Here’s what I find interesting:
Building in wiggle room for my morning drop-off driving time might not be the most time-efficient (where the mantra might be “she who spends the least amount of time in the car wins”), but it is the most stress-reducing.
[Note: In case you struggle with mornings, please know that I have the added benefit of very early-rising kids. I typed this on my couch after my 3yo woke me up at FOUR TWENTY this morning, and my attempts to cuddle her back to sleep failed. So, we have a lot of time to work with in the AM, which I know is not the case for many.]
In a similar way, I’m someone who prefers to get to the airport at least 1.5 hours before a flight if I’m traveling solo and two hours beforehand with kids.
Sure, there are times I sit around for a while waiting for my flight & often it means I have to wake up earlier. But I’m pretty stress-free as I drive to the airport, park, move through security, fill up my water bottle, hit the restroom, and grab a coffee and snack.
Yes, it all takes more time than it technically needs to – but almost all of that (longer) time is less stressful than the alternative (i.e., shorter time, but likely more stressful throughout – at least for me).
All of this drives home this point:
Our society often assumes the goal of time management is productivity and efficiency – doing more in less time so that we can... I guess, do even more.
That approach tends to result in a fast, rushed pace that feels anything but calm.
Instead, a major thing I'm after when I think about time management is less stress – which often requires a slower pace, which requires more time, which is arguably “inefficient.”
Don’t get me wrong – I still want to do a lot. I want to run my business with excellence (including serving clients well, recording podcast episodes, managing Instagram and Substack, managing finances and more tech platforms than I can remember, etc.), spend time with and really know my kids and hopefully teach them useful skills and knowledge (and manage the massive amount of invisible work that comes with them), get to laugh with my husband, have a decently-clean house and clothes, go on walks with my dog, spend time with my parents, move my body and eat somewhat healthy, and on and on.
Efficiency in some of those places makes a lot of sense to me (e.g., given my own interests, she who spends the least amount of time on meal decisions and prep wins).
But I also want to be present for and enjoy the vast majority of those things. And for me, that requires being able to do them without the frantic pace and stress – and that requires more time.
In those departments, efficiency is not my goal, and I am okay with inefficiently spending more time doing these things so I can soak them in and be present.
All this to say: if you have the same goal – moving through life feeling less stress and more calm and stability so you can enjoy most of it (at least the parts you want to, which hopefully make up a lot of your life), know that while efficiency and productivity come into play, constantly indexing for those things and making everything faster so that we can do more isn’t the end goal (and will lead to a frantic-paced life). Embrace the fact that slower requires more time.
And while that sounds obvious right now, our society often talks about productivity and efficiency in a way that makes them sound like the goals and the keys to getting the life you want.
And I disagree.
Instead, it’s likely far more effective to focus on things like:
Building in padding into your life – from your daily commutes to project deadlines – to give you a bit more breathing space when things inevitably go sideways,
Getting rid of some things to make time for that padding – which requires prioritization and elimination (see ep. 4 of the Bright Method podcast), and
Letting the question of “how do I want my life to feel?” (or “what do I want the pace of my life to be?,” as framed by Garland Vance) guide your decision-making about what to take on and what to let go.
It’s somewhat counterintuitive given the way we as a society talk about productivity, etc., but there’s something important here. Efficiency isn't always the goal – breathing space is.
I find this so interesting to think about – curious what you think! Let me know!
New here? Welcome!
I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. I teach the Bright Method, a realistic time management system designed for professional working women.
After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies. My system, the Bright Method, has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, and my work has been published in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more. Learn more on my website, come learn bite-sized strategies with me on Instagram, listen to my podcast (the Bright Method podcast), or jump into my free 5-day program. Enjoy!
P.S. My program opens for enrollment on September 10, 2025 at 10am CST. If you’re interested in learning the full Bright Method, you can learn all about the program here.
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