HISMD: Director, Corporate Communications Fortune 250 Insurance Company

Three kids (17, 13 & 11). Divorced. Partner (boyfriend recently moved in). Hybrid. South Shore, Boston. 42.

This "How I Structure My Day" series started with an Instagram post I made about my own life, which prompted a woman to ask if it would be possible to see how women working a more traditional, full-time job did it. I asked women to share, and, man, have people responded. The goal is to show how women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. structure their day. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do!

The Snapshot

• Partner: Yes - Boyfriend recently moved in (< 1 year) and is a mail carrier. I answer more about his role in our household below.

• Children: Yes - 17, 13, 11

• South Shore, Boston

• Hybrid (going from 1 day in-office to 2 days, beginning June)

• 42

Typical Morning

• WFH days (typically Mon, Tue, Fri):

  • 6 a.m.: Wake up to my alarm, wake up 11 YO kid. Feed dogs, supervise lunch making, feed chickens, empty dishwasher.

  • 6:30 a.m.: Wake up 13 YO who likes a little slower mornings and is very independent. She makes her own lunch - no supervision needed.

  • 7:05: First kid’s bus comes at 7:05, so I get her on the bus, then walk the dogs. I’ve usually peeked at work email by this point. If there’s nothing that has sucked me in, I go on a longer walk (25-ish mins) or I just do a quick potty break for the dogs.

  • 7:40 – 7:50: Repeatedly wake up the 17 YO and usher them out the door for school. He drives them to school, which is new/great – and stressful b/c I don’t want him to speed when they are running late 😊 17 YO eats school lunch every day. Totally up to him - he'd rather sleep than pack his own lunch. If I have Pilates, I walk out the door with them.

  • 8:00 – 9:15 a.m.: Pilates Mon/Fri, and/or shower for work. When I don’t have Pilates I try to do a longer walk, but usually, I just get sucked in by work emails.

• In-office days

  • In-office days are more hectic. I still wake up at 6 a.m. and get my 11 YO going, but I need to hop in the shower after waking up my 13 YO. I also need to check email and pack for the office while getting the other two kids going.

  • Because we are limited for desk space, other people use my desk when I'm not at the office, so each day I go in feels like packing for a trip (cup for water, lunch, snacks, charging cords, make up bag, etc.)

  • I am also checking traffic to see if my drive to the train (or boat) will take longer than usual.

  • I take the dogs on a short walk and tell the big kids I'm leaving.

  • 7:20: I HAVE to be out the door by 7:20 to make the 8:05 commuter train in to Boston. The 17 YO driving them was a HUGE win because the bus used to pick up at 7:50 and I would be holding my breath worried that I would get a call that they had missed it. (I had a neighbor who was an emergency backup.)

  • 8:05 - 8:45/9 ish: Commuter train, then walk to office. (If I miss the commuter train, this takes about 30-45 mins longer!)

Morning "Make Life Easier" Hacks

• Kids have made their OWN lunch since Kindergarten. I obviously supervised, when they were younger, but now they are pretty independent.

• I always run the dishwasher the night before -- even if, for some reason, it's not full.

• We keep socks in a basket by the front door, so there's less running upstairs for socks.

• And bookbags stay on the first floor (never bedrooms or basement) so they know where their stuff is.

• Any devices (phones, school Chromebook, iPad, etc.) also charge on the first floor -- no devices in bedrooms.

Transition into Work-Mode

• On WFH days, that's usually a shower, cup of coffee, my sister calls me most mornings while she's on her commute and that also is part of the transition.

• On in-office days, I listen to podcasts, read, or scroll on social on my train ride into the office. Sometimes, I get a coffee or breakfast near my office. But Boston prices are steep - so I can't make this too regular of a thing, especially if I'm going in 2x/week.

What my work day looks like

• Meetings meetings meetings ... email email email. I rarely have more than an hour not booked in meetings in a day. I spend all day on Teams meetings with my colleagues (mostly in the midwest and south).

• I have no direct reports or clients in the Boston office so the in-office days I have headphones in ALL day. I despise it. I need to be better about structuring my workday, TBH. (Like, I REALLY need your course, Kelly!) But I just kind of roll with it and do my best to get actual work done between meetings.

• When I'm at my best, I'll block time for tasks that I know need my full attention.

• My Monday team meeting is a must every Monday, it helps me feel grounded knowing what my directs are working on and if they need support. I often use that time to reprioritize for them, if they need it. And I make sure to have 1:1 with everyone each week, so that can help with delegation, etc.

Lunch/Snacks

• I eat lunch and breakfast at my desk. (I know! Not great! Reading that typed out kind of makes me sad.)

• Breakfast is something quick - either scrambled eggs with salsa on a corn tortilla or a pre-made acai bowl I recently discovered from BJs (a wholesale club).

• I usually make a salad with leftovers from dinner the night before.

• I grab a handful of granola or tortilla chips or dried fruit from the pantry throughout the day.

• When I'm in the office this all needs to be packed ahead of time because we don't have a cafeteria so I'd be paying $20 for a salad. :( We do have a kitchenette area though, so I can put things in a fridge, and we have a microwave for warming things up.

Breaks

• When I'm at my best, I schedule 9-9:30 for focus time. It shows at "tentative" on my calendar so people can try to schedule over it, but they would typically ask first. :)

Leaving work

• When I work from home, I stop working around 5 to make dinner. And log back on, if needed.

• On in-office days, I often leave the office in the middle of the day so that I can have a shorter commute home, then log back on at home. I also can do emails from the train (there is a little table in each car that folks can sit at with their laptop) and sometimes I do a phone call on the driving portion of the commute so I'm not just going dark at work.

• Wednesdays, my kids are with their dad until 8 p.m., so I work longer that day and can also get some focus work done.

Transition out of work mode

• I check in with the kids, walk and feed the dogs and "reset" the kitchen before starting to make dinner. I try to turn on music (not the news or TV) when I'm making dinner.

After work hours

• Evenings are entirely driven by kids' activities and my energy level.

• One kid has dance every Tuesday from 6:15-7; another had softball twice per week from 5:30-7:30 (different days), so it would throw off dinner and the ability to get anything done in the evenings.

• I also have a girlfriend who I try to see once a week for a "couch night" where we just chat and catch up. If I'm behind on putting away laundry (note: I am ALWAYS behind on putting away laundry), I ask her to sit in my room instead of the couch so I can put away laundry while we catch up. She keeps me on task.

• PLUS, most of the fall/winter, once the sun goes down, I am DONE! So there just aren't enough hours. Longer days in the summer give me more energy.

• A solid evening, though, would be to loop the dog with my neighbor at 4:30, make and cleanup after dinner (my partner helps with this!), check email to be sure I haven't missed anything/tie up loose ends, potty break the dog, watch a show and be in bed by 10:30.

• I haven't mentioned it yet, BUT I'm in the Eastern time zone and my work is Central time zone. That allows me to work out in the mornings, but also means I am making dinner while my boss is likely wrapping up his day. I tend to check email at least once in the evening to make sure I'm on top of things the next day.

• My kids are solid students, so they are pretty independent with homework, but there are times where we need to practice a skill, I need to help with homework, run out for project supplies, etc.

• Evenings are also where my partner and I connect. We play cards, watch a show, look at our phones, work in the yard... he's pretty introverted and I'm very extroverted and our busy household can be draining for him. So our quiet time is treasured.

Nightime non-negotiables

• Run the dishwasher is a non-negotiable. I am MUCH more productive in the morning, so I am happy to put away dishes first thing. By the evening, I'm pretty fried, so that's about it. ;)

• Also, my kids shower in the evenings. It helps their mornings go smoother and there isn't much shuffling in the bathroom.

Afternoon/evening “make life smoother” tips

• On the weekend, I "plan" out 3 meals for the week. This is just a note in my phone that says:

  • Mon: Pasta

  • Tues: Tacos

  • Wed: Kids go to dad’s, so my partner and I do leftovers or whatever we're in the mood for

  • Thurs: Grill

  • Friday: Always pizza and chicken tenders.

• That helps me know what we're eating, and I often text the entire house on what we're eating that night so they don't ask me. I have just accepted the fact that the kids don't want anything fancy or adventurous. We eat a lot of the same things. It is what it is.

Sharing the load with a partner

• So... I'm divorced and my kids go to their dad's on Wednesdays after school until 8 p.m. and every other weekend. My divorce was high-conflict, and my ex and I do not speak and only communicate via email or text. And he seldom replies to me. This makes flexibility not a thing with the kids. People often ask, "can't you just swap weekends?" or "won't he pick Kid #2 up from dance?" and the answer is "no." He won't. It's HARD.

• I've been with my boyfriend/partner since Feb. 2021, and he moved in Oct. 2024. It's been SO nice to have another adult in the house, but I try to make sure he doesn't feel "obligated" to do kid stuff. And my kids HAVE a dad. He's not a "stepdad," he is another trusted grownup in my kids' life. He has done pickups on occasion, he grabs forgotten groceries on the way home from work, he does ALL the yard work and takes the cars in for their oil changes, etc. He helps me and the household overall, but he isn't a stand-in dad. If that makes sense. OH! And he LOVES laundry. Bless him. He runs the laundry and often folds it. Laundry has long been my nemesis, and he is a laundry GOD.

Outsourcing

• I have cleaners that come every week. I have a smaller home, so it's $100/week. I had a lot of guilt about going to weekly (instead of every other), but it allows me to have so much more time with my kids and partner, it's worth it.

• A dog walker comes when I go into the city for work on Wednesdays (that's also the day the kids go to their dad's after school, so they can't walk them when they get home).

• A few years ago, at Christmas time, I hired our babysitter to run errands for me and help me wrap presents. IT WAS AMAZING. The sitter has since moved away, so I need to find someone nearby again. But I basically handed her a to-do list and my credit card and said "do as much as you can in 2 hours." I was in a PEAK overwhelm stage. And I'm approaching that right now again. Well worth the money.

• I started doing grocery pickup during the pandemic and never looked back. I do pickups at the grocery store and the wholesale club almost weekly. I LOVE grocery stores and grocery shopping and cooking. But the kids don't love variety, so I have just taken the easiest path for this season of my life.

• Sometimes, when the kids are at their dad's, I'll shop in the store and make something I really want to make. The pickup orders make my life so much easier, and then I don't over-buy. (Plus my partner or son can easily pick them up, too!)

Things you do for fun/you during the week

• Mon and Fri, I do Pilates from 8-9 a.m. This is really only possible b/c most of my colleagues are in Central time zone (so it's 7-8 a.m. for them!). I quickly shower after class and am at my desk by 9:30.

• I have friends and colleagues I meet for coffee or dinner occasionally. Maybe once a month I am seeing someone for coffee or dinner.

• I count my walks with my neighbor as "fun" - we try to do that as much as possible. We text about it every day and probably get 2-3 in per week.

• I talk to my sister on our commutes. We call each other every day. We pick up probably 2-3 times per week.

• I'm on a volunteer board that supports our local library that meets the first Tuesday of the month. I love that group of women, and we have fun doing fundraisers and staff appreciation for our local amazing library!

Anything extra the sharer wants to share

• Most of my responses are around the school year, so I want to share my summer hack, which is SUPER dorky. I have a whiteboard (it's a kids’ easel) and I list daily chores and write at the top "pick 2" or "pick 3" or whatever for my kids (before I had a whiteboard, I just put the papers in a slip sheet. You can write on it with a dry erase marker!). They know to check the board in the summer. If possible, I give the chores a timed deadline so that I don't have to nag them. I started this when they were small with little checklists with pictures, so they are used to it. I thought this was totally normal, but as I talk to other moms, I realize how dorky it is. I have pics and am happy to send them to you [which she so generously did – see below for two examples].

• In terms of what other parents of “teen/tweens” may want to know, here are some additional thoughts:

  • I don't have "life 360," but I do ask that my kids share their location if they are out together/in an unfamiliar location, etc.

  • I wanted to delay phones as long as possible, and only the older two have phones. (Not my decision... a gift from their dad, but it does help with coordinating pick-ups and drops offs ;)) Before they had phones, my phone number was written in their planners, and I taught them how to use a land line from our local library, which is always available to kids.

That’s a wrap for this one!

Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing. These publish every Thursday!

A reminder of the ground rules to ensure women continue wanting to share about their days and feel safe doing so.

• Encouraging comments always welcome!

• If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.

• If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.

• Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!

New here? Welcome!

I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. I teach the Bright Method, a realistic time management system designed for professional working women. In addition to this fun new series, I share bite-sized time management strategies on Instagram. Thanks for being here!

After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies. My system, the Bright Method, has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, and my work has been published in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more. Learn more on my website, come learn bite-sized strategies with me on Instagram, or jump into my free 5-day program.

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