HISMD: Senior Associate, Big Law

Hybrid (in-office requirement 4x a week, though often go in on Fridays, too). Partner (hybrid - in office at least M-W). 2 kids - 4yo & 1yo. DC. Mid-30s.

Each Thursday, the “How I Structure My Day” series features women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I do!

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Okay, on to the good stuff!

The Snapshot

• Profession: Senior Associate, Big Law

• Hybrid - in-office requirement 4x a week, though often go in on Fridays too

• Partner: Hybrid (in-office at least M-W)

• Children: Yes - 2 kids (4yo. & 1yo)

• DC

• Mid-30s

Typical Morning:

• Typically my rise-to-wake alarm goes off at 6 am.

• I quickly get dressed and head to a workout class that starts at 6:30 and I'm home by 7:45. Our kids usually wake up around 7, so my husband will go get them and bring them downstairs. Our au pair is in charge of getting them breakfast and generally ushering them along to go to daycare.

• I come home in the middle of breakfast, at which point my husband will go get ready for work and leave around 8. Our au pair and I will finish getting the kids ready--the 4 year old in particular has a strong mom preference, and so I often will be the one getting shoes on, helping brush teeth, etc. Our au pair also packs the bags for the day.

• On a good day, the au pair and kids are leaving around 8-8:15 (they have about a 10 minute drive to daycare), and I go get ready for work. I get ready relatively quickly and so can be leaving home by 8:30.

• I drive 5 minutes to the Metro station and then take about a 15-20 minute Metro ride into work. I used to drive all the way to work, but I quickly realized (1) DC traffic is insane and (2) I liked having the time to zone out on the train. So Metro it is. If I'm running to an early meeting or weather is bad, I'll take the Metro all the way to my office, which is right off the stop. Most days, though, I get off a stop early and do a 10-15 walk. At a coach's suggestion, I use this time to audio journal and grab a to-go coffee.

• Critically, I then take that journal transcript and feed it into AI, have it summarize from the viewpoint of an executive coach in my industry, come up with action items, and then have those scheduled in my personal calendars. This is a relatively recent routine change and it is now a CRITICAL part of my day. I often end up adjusting where things are scheduled (I did Kelly's Bright Method program), but it's a great starting point and helps translate my stream of consciousness into concrete actions. After all this, I'm at my desk around 9:15/9:30.

Morning "Make Life Easier" Hacks

• I cannot overstate how hugely helpful adding an au pair has been to our routine. While one parent is usually still assisting in the morning, it's been huge to not need both parents around for the random breakfast requests, potty help, etc. I would not be able to workout as much as I do otherwise.

Transition Into Work Mode

• I don't really--the audio journaling helps a little with this, as it functions as a brain dump for everything weighing on my mind, and I find it easier to let it go and focus on work when I sit down. (It's worth mentioning that I sadly can't use AI for work purposes, so my brain dump is about personal to-dos.)

What My Work Day Looks Like

• Work day can vary a lot and often my calendar is not within my control. That being said, I do try to block out tasks [in my calendar; this is Kelly: I removed a detail of Bright Method program I don’t share publicly], even if I find I'm not able to block availability at that time. I find that at least helps avoid the dreaded "what do I need to do next" and "when am I going to get this all done."

Lunch/Snacks

• Our office has lunch brought in and has snacks on hand, so I typically eat those at my desk.

Breaks

• I don't schedule breaks--I've tried in the past, but I really just try to pay attention to my energy levels, which can vary a lot day to day and throughout the day. Sometimes if I can feel myself flagging, I'll walk to a coffee shop a couple of blocks away to get some energy.

Leaving Work

• I try to leave work around 5 (when I stop working is very different), but sometimes I have later meetings. If my meetings go past 6, I try to transfer home earlier, so that I don't have to then commute after.

Transition Out of Work Mode

• I don't really. I do have the commute home, but if work is busy, I'm often reading and responding to emails during that time. If things are less busy, I'll listen to a podcast. But oftentimes, I feel like the transition is forced upon me when I open the door to home.

After Work/Evening Hours

• If I get home before the kids (au pair does pick up), I will pull together a quick / easy dinner--usually meaning some kind of Trader Joe's prepared meal that just need to be heated, plus fruit or veggies that I have cut over the weekend. If I'm home later, sometimes my husband pulls something together or our au pair can if we're both tied up. Our au pair is another pair of hands during dinner to help with requests, getting the kids milk and water, etc.

• She then ushers at least the 1 year old upstairs for bath. Our 4 year old's mom preference is particularly strong at night, so I'm usually still helping with bath time and generally getting the kids ready for bed. (Sometimes I have work or calls during this time, and while those are do-able if absolutely necessary, the kids tend to majorly melt down if I'm not around.)

• Our au pair is off at 8, and my husband and I switch off which kid we put down each night. Our 1 year old goes to bed pretty easily and shortly after 8, but our 4 year old can sometimes be up until 9 or later (I blame the daycare nap!). I'm starting to transition our 4 year old to at least let us have a computer open while we sit with her until she falls asleep if we start getting past 8:45 or so and work is busy--it's not ideal, but neither is the stress of seeing work emails come in that need attention.

• After both kids are asleep, I will either go to sleep shortly thereafter (9:30 or so) or will take care of work things, if needed.

Evening Non-Negotiables

• No non-negotiables these days. Our au pair takes care of prepping the kids' lunches and putting together the daycare bags, which was the biggest non-negotiable pre-au pair.

Afternoon/Evening “Make Life Smoother” Tips

• I have started charging my personal phone in another room at night, and it is hugely helpful to prevent mindless scrolling.

• I also use Opal to set a max of 30 minutes of social media a day.

Sharing the Load with a Partner

• We have tried doing Fair Play but haven't been able to make it stick. Part of that is because our lives have changed a lot in the last 2 years--a second kid, moving, job losses and new jobs, and adding an au pair. It feels like the ground is constantly shifting under us and we're constantly having to renegotiate. Whenever things start feeling too unbalanced, we will make a list of everything we're doing / feel responsible for and reallocate, but it definitely is a flexible system and each person isn't fully owning the task.

Things You Do For Fun/You During the Week

• There's not much of this during the week. My big one is my daily Pilates class, which I depend on as an anchor to my day.

Exercise/Body Movement

• Near daily work out classes, but if things are feeling very hectic (e.g., right when our au pair is on vacation), I will do a Peloton work out at home in the basement.

Outsourcing

• Au pair handles mornings and evenings (she gets the middle of the day off and weekends off). She's responsible for kid-related things--drop off and pick up, prepping lunches, packing bags, folding their laundry.

• We also have a cleaner who comes 3 times every 2 weeks--once every 2 weeks is a true cleaning, plus once a week for running / folding laundry and helping us stay on top of dishes. I feel a little sheepish admitting that, but it's been a massive help for the day to day.

Anything Else the Sharer Wants to Share

• Having an au pair has been a true game changer. In some ways it's been hard, as our kids are so young and want mom and dad all of the time. But I underestimated how helpful it'd be to have an extra set of hands helping whatever parent was on point with the kids. It's been a big transition for our family, and especially for our kids, but it really makes our lives run so much more smoothly.

• I also know that the nature of my work, and the expectation that I am 24/7 available, makes this look hectic, and it often is. Whenever possible, I try to keep work confined to M-F and really lean into uninterrupted, undistracted weekend time with the kids.

• As part of that, my husband and I prioritize giving each other time off of kid duty so that we can each get some solo time, whether that's for work or recovery. I wish we had more time / bandwidth to do things all together, but this is the stage of our lives and careers that we're in right now.

That’s a wrap for this one!

Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing. These publish every Thursday!

A reminder of the ground rules to ensure women continue wanting to share about their days and feel safe doing so.

• Encouraging comments always welcome!

• If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.

• If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.

• Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!

New here? Welcome!

I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies.

My system, the Bright Method, has been featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, and my work has been published in Forbes, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more. Learn more on my website, come learn bite-sized strategies with me on Instagram, or jump into my free 3-day program.

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