Returning from Maternity Leave: 50+ Crowdsourced Tips from Working Moms Who've Been There

From blocking work hours to identity shifts to what to do with all that email, these crowdsourced tips from dozens of working moms are invaluable.

A few weeks ago, I put out this ask on my Instagram:

Let’s talk returning to work after maternity leave. Over the years, I’ve heard some great tips from moms here, like:

• planning shorter first weeks (or midweek start dates) when possible

• starting the childcare routine a week or two before you start to get used to it (and maybe get a fresh haircut!)

• building pumping time into your calendar before your first week back (if you’re breastfeeding)

If you’ve already gone back to work post-mat leave… What’s one thing you’d share with a mom who’s about to go back to work that helped you – practically or emotionally? Please share in the comments. Thank you.

And as always, this community delivered. Here are the tips!

(Side note: If you want help prepping for maternity leave, here is an article with those crowdsourced tips!)

On the Personal Front, Prep to Make Things as Easy As Possible

• “Do anything you can to make those first weeks back easier- if feasible, outsource the cooking or get a meal service, use a dry cleaning or laundry service that will pick up and drop off at your house, schedule a housekeeper to come sometime the first couple weeks- but even just freezing meals to eat that week and setting up a section of my closet with work clothes that fit and made me feel good made a big difference! Anything to remove friction in an already stressful time.”

• Make mornings as easy as possible – Simplify & Prep Ahead of Time

  • “Those three things [the tips mentioned in the post], plus I simplified my morning routine. Merit Five Minute makeup set is a dream.”

  • “Do as much prep the night before (packing lunch, pump bag, etc). I was never a night-before prepper until I was postpartum. It will always take longer to get out the door than you plan & not having to stress about ‘did I pack everything?’ is a wonderful gift to yourself.”

  • “Pick out and steam/iron your outfits the Sunday before the work week so your weekday mornings are less stressful, meal prep your lunches that Sunday too. Pick & set out your child’s outfits the night before so the mornings are easier.”

• Prep dinners!

  • “Make freezer meals that are easy to prep in a crock pot or throw in the oven for the first month back at work. While transitioning back, you don’t also need to be worried about what’s for dinner.”

  • “Make some freezer meals ahead of time so you have easy dinners you can thaw and/or heat from frozen ready to go.”

  • “Redirect the meal train energy from right after birth to when you go back to work! (If you don’t need meals right away)”

  • “Prepped for postpartum! Stock up on necessities, freezer meals, good snacks.”

Blocking Work Hours

• “Put a 30 minute block on your calendar in the morning and/or end of the day so that just in case you’re a little late or need to get out of the office on time, you can.”

• “Build start and end times into your calendar, too! Block 30 min before the end of your day, if you can, to wrap up, organize and wind down - also helps avoid many late in the day phone calls pushing you late for daycare pickup or otherwise. Give yourself grace.”

• “Besides blocking off pumping time, I blocked off daycare pick up time on my calendar.”

Ease Back In Gradually

• “Easing back in was crucial. I opted to take the last 2 weeks of my leave as 4 weeks half time work instead. I mostly worked from home during that time and would work while she napped or while friends and family watched her for a couple hours then went into the office one big full day a week. This was a good mixture of getting extra time at home with her ( + I never had to pump on my wfh days) while also trying out the big full work days in office so we could adjust to a full day apart before daycare. The ramp up also helped temper expectations of how much I could get done right away.”

• “I came back from maternity leave after each of my 4 kids, to ease back into work I made sure to leave right at 5 those first few weeks to be able to see the kids before bed.”

• “See if you can time your return to work with a slower period if it makes sense for your industry. Example, going back at the beginning of a quarter would probably be crazy. If you can go back in the middle of a quarter or a month before quarter-end then you ought to have more time to catch up and ease back into things.”

• “Keep your out of office on that first week while you dig out!”

• “If you can swing it, plan for your first day back in the office to be a Friday (or even a Thursday). Gives yourself a solid day just to wade through everything you missed, you don’t have to come straight back into a full workweek, and when you walk into the office Monday morning you’ll actually be prepared.”

The Childcare Transition

• “I found it helpful to start my baby a week early at daycare for half days. This gave me space to practice the new routine and figure out how I felt without having to immediately log back into work.”

  • Note from Kelly: I know friends who used this time to get a haircut, etc. to make them feel more like themselves going back into the office, too.

• “+1 to starting kiddo at daycare 1-2 weeks before you go back to work. Feeling more confident in that transition makes it easier. We also get ramp back time - 2 weeks at 50%. That was so clutch that I’d do it that way even if I had to burn my own leave. Really lets you figure out how to be in the workplace again before being totally overwhelmed with the work.”

  • Reply from another woman: “This was a game changer with our 2nd. With our 1st- she started daycare the same day I went back to work and I looked like a raccoon from crying so much at drop off!! 2nd little started daycare 1 week part time then 2nd week full time then I went back to work.”

• “I’d say you know yourself best. For me, starting back part time was chaotic and led to me feeling only half-in on both parts of my life. It was also super distracting being stressed about starting him at daycare while trying to reorient to work. I think I would have done better starting him part time at school before I started back at work, then returning full time once my heart felt more secure in leaving him with his teachers.”

• “Send baby to daycare a day before or a few days before you return to work. I was not emotionally okay to go to work after the first daycare drop off and I’m glad I had a few ‘practice’ days of daycare before going to work.”

• “If your child will be in daycare, protect a few PTO days for when you are back and the inevitable daycare bugs catch up, sending them home for 24+ hours. Proactively prepare your manager too for needing some grace, especially in the early months.”

• “Release any guilt you may have. Good childcare means your baby gets to be loved by even more people - what a privilege!”

Breastfeeding & Pumping

• “If you’re breastfeeding, get baby used to the bottle by giving one bottle every day for a few weeks before child care starts. Don’t assume that if they take it easily one time, you’re good to go. Babies love to change their minds 🤪 ”

• “Take lots of short videos of baby so you can watch them while pumping. Helps with let down and brings some joy to your day!”

• “If you’re able to leave a second breastpump and flange set at work it’s one less thing to carry and remember to pack each day.”

• Store your flanges, etc. in a ziplock in the fridge too so you don’t have to clean them throughout the day.

Your Partner & Support System

• “If your partner has parental leave, save some of their time for when you return to work. That means you can focus just on returning to work and all the pressure/identity crises that come with that. My husband split his leave, took half at the beginning with us all together then went back before taking the second half when I went back. It really helped not only for the adjustment of leaving my son with someone else, but also for the adjustment of having to get myself ready and in the work headspace.”

  • Reply from another woman: “Totally agree. I think it was key and having a very equitable partnership and an involved Dad because it set the precedent early on.”

• “Have the conversation about sharing the load before you go back to work. In the UK, our generous maternity leave is a wonderful thing, but I think my other half forgot I worked, so we didn’t redistribute responsibilities until I’d been back a while and was completely broken.”

• “You will find a new respect (and patience) for your fellow parent colleagues that you might not have had before. They should understand you better than the others, so lean on them.”

Know this about PPD

• “I wish I knew that PPD can peak during months 5-9 postpartum. This means I was two months back ‘into the swing of things’ at work when I was actually at my lowest (I hope... tbd) mental health state hormonally. Idk how I could have planned better. But I was so glad to feel ‘back to normal,’ and then suddenly i’m DROWNING in hormones and don’t know how to ask for help (or even what help I need) at this point.”

Deciding When to Go Back (There’s No Right Answer – Listen to You)

• “Do what’s right for you, even if it feels like it’s not what you’re supposed to do or want. I went back at 9 weeks and I was ready. I got a lot of flack for it but genuinely it was the right timing for me. Think about removing societal expectations from your equation and what REALLY feels right for you, (across all topics, not just leave timing!)”

• “You are not a bad mom if you are excited to go back to work.”

• “Take any time you are able, FMLA, PTO, all of it. Do not work during that time off or do any prep work leading up to your return. That time is for you and baby. You can prep and ramp back up during your actual return.”

• “My first time taking maternity leave I had no idea just how consuming postpartum is, and I was ashamed to learn just how intense it is to be a mom for the first time. Give yourself as much buffer, grace, and support as possible. Rally your community, and take as much leave as you are able. You wont get this precious time back with your newborn and anything you can do to make your time more comfortable and present is key!”

• “Go back when you are ready, not when they say you can. I was ready at 6 weeks and didn’t know I could split my FMLA. I was miserable for the last 6 weeks!”

You’re a Different Employee Now (And That’s Not Good or Bad)

• “It’s okay if your plate feels smaller. It’s okay if your capacity is different than pre-baby you. I’m constantly reminding myself this is a new me at work and it’s going to take patience to learn her.”

• “Releasing the need to be a powerhouse at work. Acknowledging that this will not be the most productive year and being ok with that! They are only this little for so long… the work will always be there 🥹”

• “My biggest advice that I share with my friends is to keep an open mind. There is no way to know what returning will feel like, what you will want, or how you will react until you actually do it. The only thing that is guaranteed is that it will be different, because you are different. But different isn’t inherently good or bad. It’s just different. You can still be a powerhouse, if that’s what you want, but it will look different than before. Or you may not want to be that rockstar anymore, and that’s okay too, you will find your path. But keeping an open mind will help you get there.”

• “Do not go back expecting you to be the same person with the same priorities. You are a NEW person living in a different reality AND. THAT. IS. OKAY!”

• “So much good advice here ♥️ we love the idea of reframing the concept of ‘bouncing back’ and, instead, acknowledging and celebrating that you are fundamentally changed. There’s no back, only forward.”

• “Remember that you are replaceable at work, but not at home with your kids.” [Note from Kelly: I believe this is about making decisions about what to prioritize when there are conflicts; that said, I think it’s nuanced – sometimes, it’s okay to let others – like partners, family, and beloved nannies – step in for you so your kids can be comforted by others and you can simulateoulsy have the flexiblity to prioritize your career when you need to.]

• “When you do go back, give yourself grace for doing a ‘good enough’ job for a while. There are times in your career to push yourself and stretch and times to cruise and do the good enough job. Postpartum is the ‘good enough’ period. Just my two cents!”

  • Reply from another woman: “I had a mentor tell me that there are seasons to grow and seek out new opportunities, and seasons to only focus on the tasks ahead of you. That was really helpful framing for me my first year back at work, knowing that I would eventually get back to feeling capable of growing and stretching, but that now was not that time.”

Tips for Those First Weeks Back (And Not Making Big Decisions)

• “Plan an indulgence you’re looking forward to for that first week (but not a demanding activity!). I saved my son’s birthstone ring to slip on the day I walked out of the apartment to go get back to it (from a nearby coffee shop - also very much recommend working remotely from somewhere near but not in your home at first if you can), and I have my daughter’s ready to go but saved until then too.”

• “Depending on what your nights look like after having a new baby, remember that you might be getting dramatically less sleep than before your leave started, and your brain will work differently as a result. I remember after my first when I realized this, I knew I would not be able to ‘keep up’ with the rest of my team or be back at full brain capacity for a while and THAT IS OK (be easy on yourself about this).”

• “Be prepared for cranky evenings the first few evenings. You’re both getting used to the new routine, but you’ll get used to it.”

• “Don’t make any big career decisions in the first 3 months- you’ll feel very differently when you’re a bit more used to the adjustment and can decide more clearly later if a change is warranted.”

  • Reply from another woman: “This is so true! I just hit 3 months back at work (6 months pp) and I’m in such a different head space than I was back when i returned to work.”

• “So much good stuff in these comments already. I think I’d add to expect a bit of an identity crisis, to feel unsteady, to miss your baby, and to question your role for 4-6 weeks after you come back. Focus on giving your body, brain and baby as much support as you can in those tender weeks! It’s hard but gets so much better after 6-8 weeks (from my experience). Assume good intent from everyone around you and give yourself grace. One of the hardest seasons career-wise I’ve ever had but came through stronger 💪🏼”

• “You will have no idea what’s going on at work for at least 4-6 weeks and that’s NORMAL. Don’t beat yourself up over it bc you are hormonal.”

• “Give yourself MINIMUM one full day to purely catch up on what happened while you were out. Maybe that’s some email hygiene, hopefully some kind of written report or recorded meeting from your colleagues; ideally no meetings unless a meeting is going to be the only way to get an accurate recap. If you work hybrid but can WFH, start back on a WFH day. If you manage people, phase back in over a few weeks for your 1:1s. If you work in an office, prepare everything the night or even Sunday before - yours and baby’s outfits, your bag and baby’s, meals, etc; if you WFH, do something similar and also promise yourself you won’t do any chores during the workday. Let the workday be for work and settling in to your working parent role (of course pumping may be in there).”

• “Move all the emails that came in while you were out into a separate folder & start w/clean slate. Don’t waste your energy on emails that happened while you were out. Keep eyes forward. Also, now is a great time to establish new boundaries and rhythms to your calendar.”

  • Reply from another woman: “Couldn’t agree more! My manager - who is on the C Suite and mother of 3 - called it ‘email bankruptcy’. If it’s important, someone will follow up”

• “I agree with so much of this already. I had a very different experience returning to work after #1 vs #2, and I think one of the main differences was that I took time to reevaluate my priorities based on my values. I identified the most critical parts of my job (and being a parent!), and let the rest GO (for now). Kid-sickness hits hard if they are starting daycare, so it is good to have a strong sense of which balls can drop, and which ones need to stay in the air.”

• “If you are in management, when you go back, take an honest look at that list of stuff you delegated. Some of it, don’t take it back. Some of it maybe doesn’t need to be restarted anyway. Meet with your team or whoever covered and get their feedback.”

• “Consider that some things may be better since becoming a working Mum! For example, I found that I got a bit more focused and decisive as I absolutely had to leave on time for daycare pickups. Identify what work only needs to be 85% finessed rather than 100% finessed (eg I’m in house counsel – of course advice to the board needs to be polished, as do contracts, but internal emails less so). Back yourself and don’t agonise over getting it perfect when it didn’t matter. That saved me a lot of time. Remember that things - your baby, your job, you - will change, and your work patterns can evolve too. I was lucky enough to go back to work initially for 3 days a week. When my child turned 3, I increased to 3 days one week and 4 days each alternate week. Now I do 4 days a week, and mostly wfh so I can make it to most school events with flex - as I’ve identified that is my priority. You won’t get the perfect balance initially, and when you do, your child’s needs change! It’s always an evolution, once you realise that you can make peace with it. (As an aside, I’m in New Zealand, so was lucky to get a full year of parental leave (not all of it paid!) So appreciate that going to back to work with a one year-old is different from a very little baby.)”

  • Reply from another woman: “Yes this! I was acting as a project manager and I got a lot more decisive!”

That’s it for now!

Share any additional points in the comments. And thank you to the women who shared – this is an amazing resource for moms returning to work, and it’s all because of your generous shares. Thank you.

(Side note: If you want help prepping for maternity leave, here is an article with those crowdsourced tips!)

Curious how other women do it?

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And if you want to see ones specifically about breastfeeding/pumping, life with younger kids, etc., check out the index of past ones here.

New here? Welcome!

I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. After experiencing overwhelm as a young patent litigator in Boston, I figured out a time management system to help me show up in the ways that I wanted to at work and at home – without requiring my brain to somehow magically remember it all. And I kept practicing law. It wasn’t until years later I realized other women were interested in learning this system. I now teach other professional working women how to manage their personal, family, and career roles with less stress and more calm clarity using realistic time management strategies.

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